Bare with me as this might get a bit long and ranty (have name changed for this as I don't want to be identified in rl).
My dm has been living with us for about ten years, i am a lone parent with two teenage dd's.
Recently due to living in privately rented accommodation my rent has risen dramatically and i am only just breaking even when working overtime, out of hours and night shifts.
Realistically we need to move to smaller accommodation but this isn't possible with dm still living with us. I feel guilty even typing this as i love my dm to bits but it is all becoming too much and i am constantly tired, stressed out and irritable with my dd's, we never have any money to do nice things and it is getting me down.
My dm is late sixties, in good health and is perfectly mobile, however she doesn't contribute around the house, doesn't offer any money towards bills or unexpected emergencies like the car breaking down unless asked and then it becomes a big drama and she goes off in a huff as she is currently saving to go on her third exotic holiday in a year! I haven't been on holiday in years and neither have my dd's as i just cant afford it.
She gets irritated by any noise made in the house after about 9:30 at night which is when she goes to bed but this is our house too and i feel like i am being dictated to about what i can do in my own home, i know this is a separate issue but is just adding to the stress.
In the near future i am going to need money to support my dd's when they go to university, to pay for driving lessons and at the moment with the current situation this is just not feasible.
I have tried to talk to her about it and suggested us finding her a bungalow or a sheltered housing flat where she will receive housing benefit and can live independently but every time the conversation comes about there is always tears and my guilt and my conscience takes over and i leave it however now it is starting to impact on my dd's i have a feeling it is all going to come to a head.
I have five other siblings who are all in better financial positions than i am and no one is offering to help and i suppose i just feel like all the responsibility has fell to me.
please tell me I am not a bad person for feeling like this and that I am not unreasonable to want to try and improve the quality of life for me and my dd's.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
need some advice on this issue
dilemma73 · 09/03/2014 19:56
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Message withdrawn at poster's request.
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