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lazy partner/father

(6 Posts)
yummymommy3 Sun 09-Mar-14 11:14:53

Im a mum of 3 aged 8, 4, 18months. I dont work im a full time mum
My partner and I have been together 10 years but now im absolutely fed up
He works 38hrs aweek works less than a 15min walk away
Our typical monday to friday
Starts with me up with the children from 5:30am,the usual breaki ect at 7:45am my partner gets up for work starts work at 8am.takes the car .Ive got 3 school runs a day about 30min walk each way I do all the housework. Cooking cleaning I mean everything we also have 4 dogs 2cats and variety of reptiles . The reps are his but I still see to their basic needs.
My partner comes in around 5:30 an hr after finishing work because he picks his mate up and gives him a lift home. By this point ive fed the children dishes done homework done ect . I make our tea or his if ive ate witg the kids .. he dont realy talk or interact with the kids unless ita shouting at them cis he cant hear the tv . Once the kids are a bed me again . He goes and does his thing! Xbox . Weekends are basically I do everything he gets out of bed no earlier than 11 lays around unless he off to a mates does sweet nowt with tge kids or pets or housework/repair ect . When it all kicks off all I get is a **ing work all week!
Ive been debating on leaving him whats your opinion

CailinDana Sun 09-Mar-14 11:28:18

Yup leave him. He's just a useless waste of space.

Dahlen Sun 09-Mar-14 11:30:59

You are doing more than if you were a single parent because at least then you'd only have the DC to care for.

Unless he's earning a packet (in which case, why isn't he paying for a cleaner, etc) what on earth do you get out of this relationship now that you couldn't get if you lived on your own with the DC? What are they getting? Not a dad who interacts with them for sure.

You're clinging to familiarity and staying out of fear for a different future. While leaving is a big step and will be stressful, short-term pain results in an awful lot more long-term gain, believe me. Also, you may well find - as many women in your situation do - that the simple restoration of your self-respect that comes with standing up and saying "no more, I will not put up with this" makes you feel on top of the world from the minute you decide to leave.

optimism4 Sun 09-Mar-14 12:07:47

I'd stop cooking for him for a start. Stop doing his washing. I'd put his reptile tanks next to his side of the bed with a note reminding him of how to take care of them- reduce your workload where you can. You don't have to do it all.

bragmatic Sun 09-Mar-14 12:36:14

Yes, he sounds lazy and deeply inconsiderate. What will you do now?

yummymommy3 Sun 09-Mar-14 12:47:28

I want to leave but I dont want the kids getting upset but at the same time my eldest can see im not happy and I dont want her growing up thinking its ok to live with someone whom treats you awfully
And maybe selfish of me but im scared too

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