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The Dating Thread 71

(1000 Posts)
TheCrow Fri 07-Mar-14 21:54:11

Welcome to all daters smile

dippinmytoe Fri 07-Mar-14 22:04:33

Yay crow

blossom cheers too ...Their loss !!

Blossomflowers Fri 07-Mar-14 22:07:26

Well done crow
dipp oh dear mixing Wine and choccy biscuits now, feel very sad

SoftKittyWarmKitty Fri 07-Mar-14 22:11:31

New thread already! Only seems five minutes since the last one started grin.

I replied to MCS and we exchanged a few texts. He's offered to help me with a job application, so I'll see how things go over the next week or so. I'm a bit wary. Best way to be, I think.

TheCrow Fri 07-Mar-14 22:15:20

Despite being rubbish at following them myself, here are The Rules:

1. Develop a thick skin;
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon;
3. It's all BS until it actually happens;
4. Trust your gut instinct;
5. People vanishing, lying and being generally weird to you are not your fault
6. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you
7. If it's not fun, stop
8. loo update is mandatory

dippinmytoe Fri 07-Mar-14 22:17:37

Don't feel sad blossom , I now dont get bothered and upset. I am annoyed, and after a few days I'm over it. It takes time to build yourself up , and not give a damn. I have become so much stronger, I just delete the no and messages now, if they get in touch they do and if not.... well onwards and upwards

Blossomflowers Fri 07-Mar-14 22:27:58

I know dipp just particularly sensitive as bad shitty week. I have still not replied to his last text as nothing else to say really.

LizzieBelle Fri 07-Mar-14 22:45:24

clottedcream just read your post. I think these days everyone seems to have so much to do all the time, even semi retired! I want to see my Mr Cute far more the once every 10 days but my work pattern and his business schedule don't allow for it. We just have to suck it up Im afraid, so don't feel too bad that he cant see you for 2 weeks. smile

oldfashionedgirl Sat 08-Mar-14 08:29:30

New thread! Need those rules.

LittleBlueMouse I don't know about the exclusive chat - is it always needed? I mean don't want to bring it up if he already thinks we are exclusive. Or to make it sound like I don't believe him.

Going for sunday lunch with his parents tomorrow ........... it has only been 3 weeks. Does that seem fast??

ALittleStranger Sat 08-Mar-14 09:18:33

OF I think that is very fast! Three weeks in and most people are working out if they want there to be a week four still. Even if everything seems blissfully happy drawing in the parents so early is strange to me. Does he live at home?

oldfashionedgirl Sat 08-Mar-14 09:58:06

He doesn't live with his parents but I think he sees them quite often. With work rotas we only see each other twice a week anyway. I am trying to stick to the rules and to stay cautious.

Hearing from friends and reading about OLD makes it seem like lies and games are the norm so when someone is really nice it is hard to believe it.

LittleBlueMouse Sat 08-Mar-14 10:18:48

oldfashionedgirl I am new to this OD but it seems the chat about exclusivity is part of the deal. I agree with you, it shouldn't really be necessary and it seems forced and false. I won't be having the chat with the guy I am seeing.

I think there are lots of game players but I don't think there are huge differences, look we are all decent honest peeps here! I don't think men are so different, most reign in their ego when they feel they have met the "one" The one I'm seeing gives contradictory messages, lots of romantic gestures, deep gazing and very intense, then follows this with "all women want commitment fast" He is now busy eating his words wondering what I am all all good! I now have text messages almost begging me to make time smile

Too soon for meeting parents and children? no, maybe he really is completely smitten with you. I wouldn't involve my family in meeting anyone unless I at least hoped it would be an ongoing thing.

louby44 Sat 08-Mar-14 10:40:25

Back in the dating game. Been on 2 dates with a guy but no physical attraction for me, he was really nice (fellow teacher so lots in common)...but, the little pot belly put me off!

I'm on a paid site and have had loads of views & winks (what's the point of them?) but not much interest 'proper' contact wise. The blokes that wink are all short and I'm tall so not interested. I email loads, not afraid of that but very little response!

I know I'm a good person, attractive, good job, nice to be around - what do these blokes want? Is it that I'm 45 and will have the usual baggage?

As usual I shall probably give up....!

oldfashionedgirl Sat 08-Mar-14 10:49:07

LittleBlueMouse I am new to online thing too - this is the first person that I have met. The TALK would seem really forced at this stage.

Sounds like you have him hooked and he can't figure you out!

He does mention the future a bit. Not anything concrete but more when the weather is better we can go to .... sort of things. Hoping I make a good impression tomorrow! I just don't know what a normal time scale is and thought that maybe after 6 weeks of seeing each other twice a week we would start to get a bit serious but for some reason it seems to have been serious from date one.

scornedwoman67 Sat 08-Mar-14 11:20:56

louby I feel the same. I'm a similar age. I believe in optimism though so will keep at it.
blossom I'm so sorry about MrSA. Are you going to ignore him?
jarlin are you seeing SB again? You're in a tricky situation with him & his mum being ill
soft I'd be really fed up re MCS. I'd probably just say that he's clearly looking elsewhere & that isn't the sort of relationship I want. It's making you sad so find someone who makes you happy. Dating should be fun.
Date 2 tonight with Traindriver. Will update tomorrow. ....

louby44 Sat 08-Mar-14 11:42:13

scorned good luck with your date!

dippinmytoe Sat 08-Mar-14 12:05:36

Why do guys feel the need to send a pic of their unimpressive body parts !!! You give your no , and immediately normal chat is abandoned. ... "I'm going for a bath , I'll send a pic". I already make it clear that I'm not jumping in to bed with them.

Still no word from the guy I was supposed to meet last night !

ofg if you are comfortable with meeting his family and the speed things are going , go for it. We are all different

FloraSpreadableMacDonald Sat 08-Mar-14 12:07:29

Hello fellow daters!
Well...i had almost given up. My 4 is occasionally texting as he works away but making no commitment to meeting up on his return. So after a few dates and giving up on him. Wont offer sex as soon next time.
I went back on pof and wrote a witty profile but didnt put up my pics but offered to send when writing my blurb. Well...its proved great. I dont get endless messages from men i never intend to meet. I get some messages i have no interest in. But ive had a few messages from guys who are attractive and interested in what i have to say!
So....chatted to MrDasbhing by exchanging Shakespeare quotes which was nice. He hates fb and loves a bit of culture. I then chatted till 2am on whatsapp to MrIT who is very attractive and wants to meet. He seems interested in similar to me. I text him this morning and no reply although hes been on whatsapp so he may be a no goer.
Also chatting to MrOutdoors who seems really down to earth.
So my faith in pif returned....for a bit at least. Watch this space!

jesy Sat 08-Mar-14 12:13:40

After a little bit of sneaky work I've deducted his post last night.
To.morrow seems on.

HelloBoys Sat 08-Mar-14 12:20:18

jarlin - by the time I came round to reading your message the old one had ended!

OK - with Kent Lad. Basically yesterday I sent him a brief text to say stop following me on Twitter, I wanted rid of any internet stuff that way. Anyway... he stops following me but then what half an hour later forwards me an email reply which he said he'd thought he'd sent a week ago but was in his drafts in iPhone which detailed... stuff. I'd also said I'd be open to idea of meeting up but since I'd not heard from him for a week had got pissed off and decided to leave it.

Well in his reply he said yes, happy to stay in touch, yes, meet up. He also said 'Who knows what the future holds?'. So we're meeting next Weds as I'm going to be there for a research project for the day and can meet him for lunch as it's exact same area/place.

Call me idiotic call me glutton for punishment but he did say he was confused etc re meeting up with me so this next meeting will be maybe a chance to voice things but I really don't want more drama.

HelloBoys Sat 08-Mar-14 12:26:58

Oh my god... knew it.... Match Crapfinity (affinity) has thrown up another weirdo.... on his profile it says 'don't wear open toed sandals as I have a phobia of toes'.

I send him a v short email asking about his user name and get sent back an obvious generic scripted email (long) telling about him what he wants, perfect date etc making a few references to me and then signing it 'lots of love xx'. At least make the effort to write to me properly and not this spiel.

I hate that - when you can see they have a 'script' which they trot out which is quite transparent and you can see right through them and they've sent it to oooh however many other million girls out there.

Delete already! grin

Blossomflowers Sat 08-Mar-14 14:02:40

Hi all, scorned I have not replied to his last message, what is there to say. If he wants to see me again will need to make a few changes. I actually finding it hard to believe he sees his daughter on Saturday and Sunday and seems most nights, when does her mum get to see her then, unless he is still living there? I am beginning to wonder.

OneDayWhenIGrowUp Sat 08-Mar-14 14:24:31

Hey guys sorry to but right in without catching up but need my hand holding on something with Niceguy. I know i am being silly so please tell me off.

So he never uses Facebook, I'm a mild user so I asked if he'd be my Facebook friend, but then never bothered to actually do it and haven't checked it in a while. Just checking now as a friend said she's messaged me there, and I noticed a friend request from him. It could have been there a while I don't know. I haven't accepted straight away but went to nosy at his profile first, I can see he updated his picture last week- probably the same time he sent the friend request I'm guessing! Anyway the only other info I can see is a previous relationship status from 2007- of engaged. He never told me he was engaged. It's changed a week afterwards to just "in a relationship". I know he was in a 5 yr long relationship that ended 3 yrs ago, so that fits, but he never told me he had been engaged to her.

Why is this bothering me? The engaged bit isn't, thats completely irrelevant to our relationship now, but the not having known and seen it on Facebook bothers me. Kind of like lying by omission.

Am seeing him later. I haven't accepted the friend request yet. I doubt he'd notice when I accept anyway, I must have seen him 4 or 5 times since he sent it and he's never even mentioned it.

HelloBoys Sat 08-Mar-14 14:30:14


Facebook IS rubbish at the best of times - if you say he never uses it BUT he's telling a little white lie there because he updated his profile pic and amended his status and sent you the friend request,

He maybe thought the other relationship stuff either couldn't be seen or it didn't matter but to me it would matter that he'd missed out he'd been engaged. To me if you're dating someone you get all that stuff out on first few dates and after. It doesn't matter that he was engaged it's that he hid it from you and sort of lied about it. Did he want you to see it?!

anyway as I say to others here TALK to him!

Blossomflowers Sat 08-Mar-14 14:30:36

oneday Sorry I have no idea why thus would bother?

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