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Does anyone else jump from one relationship to another?

(25 Posts)
MamaPingu Tue 04-Mar-14 21:33:00

I've done it since I was 14 years old!!
I seem to have hardly ever been single in my life and I want to be but I start itching to meet someone.

After a 4 year relationship ended I met DS's dad. I have been single for a month now after splitting up DS's dad after he never even tried to support us properly and admitted to kissing someone when I was pregnant so I showed him the door.

I'm feeling the need for some male attention already shock
I just love being in a relationship when it's good, but I really don't want another just yet!! I suppose I must like to feel wanted but I don't want to get stuck in a shitty relationship again that I'm too scared to leave until I'm desperate!

I just want to go out, lose some weight and have a lovely time! And maybe eventually I'll be happy on my own?
Is anyone the same where you're hardly ever single?

Tell me to pack it in and enjoy myself please grin

Helpyourself Tue 04-Mar-14 21:36:06

How old are you now? It is probably a good idea to take a break.

redundantandbitter Tue 04-Mar-14 21:47:47

Same here. Always had a bloke on the go, sometimes overlapping, etc. lived with DDs dad for 17 yrs. totally faithful - THEN was with exp for 4 yrs again , twatishly overlapping (started as affair). Now in my own mess I quite like it. Never thought I would say that.

What don't you like about being on your own? Personally I feel I have to build a wall before I move on. Repair and refuel. Have you got a nice few mates to hang out with, have some fun. Have you time, energy, funds for a hobby? There must be summat you like doing?

And being on your own means you do whatever you like!!!! Bonus . Suck it and see !

lookingfoxy Tue 04-Mar-14 21:49:21

Yes I do, I just fall out of one and it seems straight into another.
I desperately want some time alone yet I also seem to need male company.
I think its definitely something lacking in me that makes me like this, I get so lonely and its a feeling that keeping busy with friends and family can't diminish.
I never feel happy in a relationship always wanting out, yet always seem to be in one.
I wish someone could give me a zap so I didn't feel like this, its fucking pathetic!!!

MamaPingu Tue 04-Mar-14 21:56:45

Redundant- it is pretty much just like what lookingfoxy has put!
I currently spend quite a good amount of time with my parents and other family members. I try meet up with friends regularly, and even go out for drinks maybe once every two weeks which is brill.
So my social life is quite good!

Hobbies wise I go running a couple of times a week and I'm starting an exercise class tomorrow.

I just feel like I'm lacking when not in a relationship and it's so frustrating!!
I end up liking someone and then eventually in a relationship.
But I hate relationships after the honey moon period as usually they start treating me different and often it ends up they've cheated! So I am truly miserable towards the end!

I need zapping also looking foxy grin

MamaPingu Tue 04-Mar-14 21:58:11

Mid 20s help yourself!

It feels like I've wasted all my teenage years with stupid boyfriends who weren't worth my time

I'm tempted to vow to stay away from relationships at least until I start uni. I think because I'm still on maternity leave I feel my life is stood still a little. I'm praying university will make me feel like I don't need a relationship!

redundantandbitter Tue 04-Mar-14 22:17:56

Ah, you're a whipper snapper!

MamaPingu Tue 04-Mar-14 22:37:32

I certainly don't feel like one grin

comicsansisevil Tue 04-Mar-14 22:58:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MamaPingu Tue 04-Mar-14 23:09:21

I'd love to be able to just enjoy myself and just accidentally come across the right person. I hate feeling like I'm looking for someone! smile

Definitely got to enjoy myself for once, and be a bit more selfish! I spend all my time looking after others so instead it can be my turn smile

MargotThreadbetter Tue 04-Mar-14 23:17:23

I was about to ask where you meet all these men, then saw that you're in your 20s!
I'd say enjoy, because when you're an old gimmer like me (45) there are next to no decent single men around.
On a more serious note though, it is a good thing to be content being single. Rely on yourself for a while and get to know the single you properly. As a poster said above, it's fun just to please yourself!

MamaPingu Tue 04-Mar-14 23:25:15

Oh no Margot, I now have a time limit!! grin
Every second a good man in the UK is taken up, I'm going to struggle more the longer I wait wink

Nah just kidding!! I'm going to sit and be good all by myself grin
Going to focus on getting fit, doing the great north run and getting a proper life sorted for me and DS! smile

Dirtybadger Tue 04-Mar-14 23:31:11

You may find yourself grateful to be single during uni. I am probably a similiar age and started technically as a mature student a couple of years ago. Graduate my first course this year and just been accepted onto another course now for another year. I love being able to study without feeling bad about not spending time with a someone. And once little one is asleep you will have some time to yourself to catch up on reading, etc. Sounds like you have a good social life so no need to worry abiut having no one to share your life with. That's what your friends and family are there for, for a while at least maybe?

Dirtybadger Tue 04-Mar-14 23:33:40

My brain is messing with me. Ignore me. Another thread someone mentioned uni. I should sleep more....

Dirtybadger Tue 04-Mar-14 23:35:30

Oh my word my head is exploding. You didn't mention uni I'm not imagining it. Stupid brain.

MamaPingu Tue 04-Mar-14 23:35:34

Uni is relevant! smile

And I think you're right, I need to focus on my degree it's more important!

MamaPingu Tue 04-Mar-14 23:35:57

Get to bed dirty badger grin

Dirtybadger Tue 04-Mar-14 23:38:38

Someone put my out of my misery. I must have tb.
And yes focus on your degree. You won't regret waiting a couple of years to start a relationship. You may regret underperforming an uni because you had too much going in. And that's even if you meet a brilliant man. Which tbh you won't until you are comfortable single thus less likely to fall for the first one who comes along...

Dirtybadger Tue 04-Mar-14 23:39:38

Accidental rudey there. Too much going on. Going in too, maybe...

tumbletumble Wed 05-Mar-14 00:01:11

I'm 39, and since I was 15 I've never been single for longer than 3 months.

I don't really see it as a problem tbh. All my relationships (3 fairly serious boyfriends followed by DH) have been healthy relationships with nice men. I just like being part of a couple.

SilenceOfTheSAHMs Wed 05-Mar-14 07:28:17

Oh God OP I have done this since age 16. I think, looking abck I was terrified of being alone, terrified of having no social life etc.

After splitting with my youngest DC's father (Which was the second abusive violent relationship) I spent a good few months living in a town where I knew no one, and got my head together.

I then by chance met an old school friend who I have known for 20 years or more, and we really hit it off. We have been together nearly two years and I'm very happy not sure he is (My kids are crackers grin )

The point I am making OP is that I was not looking, not actively trawling FB and dating sites for a man, I happened across him!

I too like many PPs have wasted bloody years on relationships, and once married a man who just married me for the Hell of it.

If me and current DP split, I shall not be getting into another relationship, I am no longer scared of being man-less!! smile

MamaPingu Wed 05-Mar-14 09:02:02

I'm hoping it'll just be a phase as I'm recently single and need to get out of the habit of having someone here with me or messaging me every day etc.

No relationships allowed anymore grin

Just you wait, another month and I'll be married wink

Nah I'm serious I need to be on my own. The last months of relationships are too hard to deal with, don't want DS seeing me upset and depressed over another idiot!

Nice selfish days instead!! smile
Just me and DS smile

LizLemonOut Wed 05-Mar-14 09:29:15

I've been like this and so far its done me no favours. I've been single for 7 months now and finally at a point where I genuinely enjoy it. I know exactly what I want and like and need and would not want to give that up. I do feel sad I don't have a partner in crime life :D and in raising DD but I'm happy to be without that for all the positives that being single bring.

My advice would be, fill your life and your time. Focus on what's great about you, work on your happiness and confidence, really come to realise how great you are and how much you do for yourself, rather than thinking what a man could bring to your life. Do something that scares you a bit (i took DD on holiday solo last year and the boost I got was amazing!). Use your evenings to learn a language or take up knitting or car mechanics, whatever. Focus on your studies. Make it do that you don't actually have time for anyone else. You will end up repelling the losers who just want a doormat who's obsessed with them, who spends all their time mooching about waiting for them to come over and the awesome man who has his own interests and respects yours will be attracted, because you're strong, capable and interesting! (None of this may be relevant to you, btw, I'm basically speaking to myself here!)

If nothing else I think periods of being single after a relationship are important so you know you genuinely are over it. It can often feel like you are when you're really on the rebound, which kind of dooms that relationship to failure, too.

mummymummymillionmillion Wed 05-Mar-14 18:42:38

The right one will come along in the end.

JupiterGentlefly Wed 05-Mar-14 22:02:42

i don't know if age has anything to do with it.. since 'discovering boys' I have been single for far longer than I have ever been coupled.
If only i could have had more of a pool to pick and choose from! I guess it must be the horns and scales I sport..grin

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