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Oh god, will I ever be over him?! Please help. Long

(10 Posts)
Hithere123 Mon 03-Mar-14 20:20:14

Have posted a little on here but just thought I would give some background. Back in Oct H told me he wasn't happy and didn't want to be with me, despite me being preg with a planned baby. We talked at the time about abortion but decided we try to work things through and keep baby. He then left again early Dec. I was heart broken but tried to be strong and when mid Dec he asked if we could make a go of things I said no as I thought he was going to just continue to be indecisive. We spent a lot of xmas together and things were good. Started to think about us being together. He came clean that he had been having a relationship with a girl since Oct. I said I still wanted to work things out but he said he didn't know what he wanted. He then moved in with the girl Jan time and introduced her to out children. We have been seeing each other a little when he drops off an he will sometimes kiss me and we have been together a few times since. He says he doesn't know where his head is or what he wants. I wish so much that he would come back it kills me. I just want to be able to move on but I really don't know how. I will be having the baby in about 8 weeks and I don't know how I'm going to cope. Any advice on moving on.

somedizzywhore1804 Mon 03-Mar-14 20:23:14

Unfortunately the only healer is time.

Before that though you need to stop entertaining him. Stop kissing with and sleeping with him and avoid contact at all costs. Clearly you need to engage with him when handing over the kids but other than that you need to stop seeing him.

Sorry OP. He sounds like an absolute fucking bellend.

AnyFucker Mon 03-Mar-14 20:26:23

Please stop sleeping with him

he is using you

who the fuck does he think he is to be "confused" ?

he isn't confused at all, he is like a dog with 2 dicks and you are debasing yourself

get some self respect love, and tell this player to fuck off, you are worth more than a few crumbs from his table

curiousgeorgie Mon 03-Mar-14 20:27:03

I second the fact that its just time.

Distract yourself with being busy, try to occupy your mind with other things, and gradually over time things will get easier, I swear. It's easy to say but it's completely true thanks

Cabrinha Mon 03-Mar-14 20:38:00

I'm sorry to be harsh, but - he left you in October, and started seeing someone in October?
No he bloody didn't. He was cheating on you.
And he's already cheating on her with you.

Don't have sex with him, PLEASE.
Do you REALLY think you can ever be happy with an arsehole like this, who has treated you this badly?

Yes, you need time. But by god you need to find your anger first!

Confused my arse!
He could confused and not put you at risk of STIs whilst you're pregnant, no?
You have no idea who the other woman is sleeping with. Who else HE has slept with.
He's disgusting and you are worth so very much more.

MrsTerryPratchett Mon 03-Mar-14 20:44:36

He talked about abortion with you without sharing the small detail that he was fucking someone else. That is one of the lowest, most repulsive things I can think of, short of violence. He took away your right to make decisions about your own body, and your pregnancy, with all the facts. Scum. Move on and leave his poor girlfriend to it.

3mum Mon 03-Mar-14 22:23:26

I agree with the other posters. My exH was "confused" too and I ran around after him doing the pick me game until I realised that confused is man speak for wants to shag lots of women and keep his options open with all of them.

He is not a good man and he is not worth your time and attention.

Jan45 Tue 04-Mar-14 11:02:16

He is not remotely serious about you, he's having cheap no strings sex with you, that's it, and probably a slight guilt for the fact that you are having his child but not guilty enough to stop shagging someone else.

You don't need someone like this dragging down your self esteem, tell him to bolt.

honeybunny14 Tue 04-Mar-14 11:07:49

You will never get over him if you keep kissing him and sleeping with him if you even just pretend to have moved on he will more than likely do all the running back respect your self and others will too.

chattychattyboomba Tue 04-Mar-14 11:17:08

I had a confused ex. Once I finally walked away and said enough's enough he tried to come running back...when I met someone else down the track, (my now DH and father of my children) and we got engaged he told me 'I would have married you!'... Yeah but you didn't buddy! And you know what else? I thought I would never get over him but when I saw him again I felt nothing but pity. There's someone out there MUCH better for you. Someone who will give you back the love you deserve. Believe it.

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