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Should he have told me or not?

(2 Posts)
Erin2014 Mon 03-Mar-14 20:18:22

i've just discovered that my partner is regularly texting an old work colleague and close friend from years ago, I did'nt know my partner at the time of their friendship and until recently had never heard her name being mentioned.This person came into his life again recently briefly I thought and had visited us once to pay her respects to us when a family member passed away. He never mentioned their friendship apart from to say that they were very close, I don't have a problem with him having friends, texting them this person is great was really friendly when I met her, she is married with two children I dont see her as a threat not like his ex but to be honest he keeps things from me that I wouldnt dream of keeping from him.I wonder if her partner knows his wife is texting my partner and if he is ok with it? When we met on the one occassion she ,mentioned her husband had questioned why she felt the need to visit my partner after all this time. The fact that he didn't mention it to me is that a red flag? Or am I completely paranoid? I go along quite nicely thinking I know all is open and honest and then i find out a little thing that I didnt know and feel he's been secretive when i would never be. now i just feel like an insecure paranoid mess! Am i?

Louloo2012 Mon 03-Mar-14 22:02:53

No I don't think you are being insecure and paranoid. He has a friend you didn't know existed in his life. You thought and believed you didn't hide things from each other and so it seems he purposely concealed his friendship. The question is why really? Does he have a reason to believe you would wrongly suspect him or force him to give up his friendship? If not (and I am not convinced this would be a good reason to conceal his friend) then why did he? Think it is not an affair or anything just some weird thought process on his behalf which needs talking through and fixing!

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