Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Wrong reasons to stay in a relationship?

(7 Posts)
SleepingBeautyLies Mon 03-Mar-14 13:26:07

Are there wrong reasons to stay in a relationship that your not satisfied with?
Such as staying with him because he hasn't done anything wrong, or beacuse you've been together too long.
Is it worth staying somewhere you're not happy when you could find happiness elsewhere, just so you don't have to start over again and avoid making someone else unhappy?

SleepingBeautyLies Mon 03-Mar-14 13:31:13

This isn't about me by the way, a friend staying in a relationship she's not happy in, they have been together for 10 years, don't have any children.
She's not happy and she knows she could be happy somewhere else, but she won't leave beacuse they've been together too long, been through too much and he hasn't done anything wrong. Those are the only reasons she has given to stay, not that she loves him or that she's happy.

I do understand her reasons but I don't think I could stay with someone just for those reasons?

worsestershiresauce Mon 03-Mar-14 13:33:13

Is this post about your own situation? Are you unhappy? If so, do you know why?

It is normal for relationships to have ups and downs, but if you are fundamentally unhappy and feel you have done everything to resolve any problems, then no, it isn't worth staying.

It is always worth trying to fix what you feel is broken before jumping ship, as the grass is rarely as green as you think it will be else where.

besshope Mon 03-Mar-14 13:35:13

But it's her decision confused everyone is different and has their own motivations I guess.
If it were me I'd make sure I'd addressed everything about me that needed to be looked at (as happiness starts within IMO) but if a relationship wasn't working then I'd leave it, like you OP

worsestershiresauce Mon 03-Mar-14 13:46:59

She's not telling you the whole story.

Perhaps she is too entrenched, or afraid of being on her own, perhaps worried about finances, or deep down still loves him and hopes to be able to make things work. Who knows.

CogitoErgoSometimes Mon 03-Mar-14 13:49:53

I'd take her on face value quite honestly. Some people are quite happy to settle for something second-rate & spend all their time whining about it rather than doing anything constructive. I think it's often a case of 'better the devil you know'... coupled with an insecurity of being single.

caughtoutforsure Mon 03-Mar-14 14:50:52

Clinging to the familiar just buys you comfort today at tomorrow's expense

Love that quote; its so true.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: