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does number of partners matter

(43 Posts)
jesy Mon 03-Mar-14 09:06:09

Ok met this bloke and I do like him he gorgeous and funny and made me all hot n flustered over a . Kiss , we were chatting yesterday about the . Off number of partners arose he has had a fair few over 20 , I've had two which I was honest about.
Should I be concerned

BertieBotts Mon 03-Mar-14 09:09:01

Not really? Not unless you're really against the idea of casual sex, because then there could be an incompatability in your moral values (which is fine but means a relationship isn't likely to work out long term)

Are you/he quite young?

jesy Mon 03-Mar-14 09:12:31

He is 33 ,I'm 35 so not kids.

Joysmum Mon 03-Mar-14 09:13:31

Personally, I'd be more concerned about no partners than lots of partners.

NotNewButNameChanged Mon 03-Mar-14 09:13:35

Usual MN wisdom is that a person's sexual past and number of partners is their private business and not something someone should be judged on. As long as everything is safe.

In real life, I think if it matters to YOU then it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. We all have preferences or judgements in certain areas. Someone who is inexperienced, sexually, or has very firm beliefs in not sleeping around may prefer someone to be of a like mind. There's nothing wrong with that, no more than it's not wrong for someone else to have slept around if they are fine with that (and have played safe).

CogitoErgoSometimes Mon 03-Mar-14 09:16:02

How did the subject even come up? Who started that particular conversation? It's not numbers that bother me so much as motivation for getting it all out there. 'Over-sharing' very early on always strikes me as odd.

jesy Mon 03-Mar-14 09:18:28

Why concerned about no partners?

meddie Mon 03-Mar-14 09:18:32

I dont think thats excessive tbh. Assuming he became sexually active in his teens then its 1 to 2 partners per year. Hes not exactly a shag monster

DistanceCall Mon 03-Mar-14 09:20:36

Because if someone gets to 33 without having slept with anyone is pretty unusual and - in my view - indicative either of strong religious convictions or some kind of problem, like crippling shyness or social anxiety, being smothered by one's parents, etc.

jesy Mon 03-Mar-14 09:26:25

It was a flirty convosation and he asked me if I was a late starter at sex as well as dating .

I'd not judge anyone tbh I can hardly judge I slept with my ex after we split up and knew he'd got a gf.

jesy Mon 03-Mar-14 09:29:02


I was a virgin till 3 years ago
No religious beliefs
A bit shy
But no one was interested in me

DistanceCall Mon 03-Mar-14 09:31:07

I didn't have sex until I was 25. I was quite shy and also thought that nobody was interested in me.

The thing is, I didn't make myself very interesting.

DistanceCall Mon 03-Mar-14 09:32:38

Oh, and I hadn't quite cut the umbilical cord either. I didn't realise until later.

DistanceCall Mon 03-Mar-14 09:35:10

And to be honest, about 30 partners for a 33 year old doesn't sound over the top to me. He clearly likes sex, and he hasn't found a partner yet.

jesy Mon 03-Mar-14 09:37:09

Part of me thinks just go with the flow he asked me over on Tuesday but said it too soon

ISeeYouShiverWithAntici Mon 03-Mar-14 09:37:11

why do you think you should be concerned? What concerns do you have?

Silverfoxballs Mon 03-Mar-14 09:38:01

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

jesy Mon 03-Mar-14 09:42:52

I guess I'm worried I will seem inexperienced.

jesy Mon 03-Mar-14 09:45:47

Distance call.
Yes he admits he likes sex and I do to ,my first bf and I were very together in that aspect and when we broke up and a year later I met some one else I was disappointed in our sex life

Silverfoxballs Mon 03-Mar-14 09:47:02

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CogitoErgoSometimes Mon 03-Mar-14 09:49:50

I think he's deliberately making you feel inexperienced by talking about his past conquests. hmm Sorry, but to me he sounds crass, indiscreet and not gentlemanly.

jesy Mon 03-Mar-14 09:51:35

He seems understanding
I was concerned about it I even texted ex who was very complementary about us well I think he was
His words you went from going slow and please be careful to pouncing on me the min I walked thru door so yes your good

Silverfoxballs Mon 03-Mar-14 09:51:40

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

jesy Mon 03-Mar-14 09:52:34

I asked him how many and he said honest answer ?

Silverfoxballs Mon 03-Mar-14 09:54:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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