unreasonable exp

[thanksbutnothanks]

brief history: exp left me when I was pregnant for his ex partner. his dad and step mum were apalled, quite rightly so, and were not shy about telling him how out of order he was (I was unfortunately also left with no where to leave and therefore had to move back to the parentals) all I know is that they had a few arguments over this, and because they had always had a slightly fractured relationship anyway, exp decided to completely cut his dad and step mum out of his life (ds was about 6months old at the time-is now 3) when I found out exp wanted nothing more to do with his dad, I immediately told him that I would ensure ds keeps in contact with his grandparents. I was unlucky enough to grow up without a dad so he is ds only grandfather and I feel very strongly that its an important relationship for ds and who am I to prevent him from having that.

so whilst exp was off on holiday there it was my birthday, dp had arranged a surprise night away but my babysitter fell ill and therefore could not care for ds. I thought it would be a nice idea to ask his grandparents if they fancied having ds overnight as he has never stayed overnight at theirs and hadn't saw each other since Christmas time, they agreed, great. win win situation for everyone. so exp came back from his holiday this afternoon, asked how ds has been all week, told him and then mentioned that he had his first sleepover at his grandparents house and I was just going to collect him. all was fine until several hours later I received a text from exp saying 'do you kot think you should ask for my consent, before making a decision to let ds stay over at my dads?' wish I never bothered mentioning it so..as tact is not my strong point, how do I politely tell him to fuck the fuck off to the far side of fuck without causing an argument? I am also tempted to completely ingnore but I suppose thats not yhe wisest decision

[Cabrinha]

Well, why can't you just ignore it?
I don't see why not. Don't engage with it.
If you have to reply, don't justify anything, just say "no I don't".

[scornedwoman67]

if it were me I would say that although he felt he had his reasons for not talking to them, your son has a right to enjoy having grandparents and to having a good relationship with them. Or if you're feeling slightly less amenable, tell him to fuck right off
It's no skin off his nose whatsoever. He needs to start putting your son's feelings above his own ego. Good luck x

[thanksbutnothanks]

I suppose it would create tension (on his side, not mine) and probably turn into another dispute. but...perhaps it won't

[scornedwoman67]

you shouldn't feel like you have to justify yourself to him though. Your son enjoys spending time with them & they enjoy having him. Your ex is being utterly unreasonable.

[thanksbutnothanks]

replied saying, no, I don't. then what you aaid scorned. he replied, how would you feel if I took ds to stay overnight at your dads? (my sad is a joblesa loser who waa uninterested in myself, db and ds. his dad is a doctor, good role model etc so hardly a great argument) and has called me three times since cannot be arsed with an argument gah! from now on my lips will be firmly sealed!

[scornedwoman67]

he's bullying you. You don't have to answer to him & you don't have to take his calls. Turn your phone off & stick to your guns!!