Just that really. The more I speak to people I realise that no family (I know of) is functional or 'normal'. In that, there are narcissistic family members, others that don't speak for decades, power struggles, grandparents who don't make an effort etc etc.
however I was having a good chat with someone at the weekend I don't know well at all and his family sounded so lovely; parents were childhood sweethearts, still together and happy. He's young but making plans for children with long term girlfriend. All go on holiday together frequently. I was so jealous! 
I crave that sort of extended happy family life, but there are so many divorces (my parents divorced messily 10 yrs ago, my brother too, after a year of marriage leaving wife & a 3month old baby) and politics, it's exhausting. They are always so easily offended, angry and judgemental..(I have my faults too mind and I'm the black sheeeep!).
Ok so, I have 2 gorgeous and lovely DDs, maybe I can break the rule?!
Any thoughts? Which is the more prevalent; happy and getting along or not?! (sorry for the navel gazing by the way!)
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Are all families screwed up?
Doratheexplorersboots · 02/03/2014 17:39
Not getting along is the norm I find. But that doesn't mean there are lots of unhappy families. I think are lots of families with many faults but who still care for each other.
I feel like the black sheep in mine too! Parents are together despite 3 decades of arguing! Siblings are all uni graduates & home-owners thanks to generous loans from Dad. Not me though Oh well...
No, I don't think all families are screwed up and your family - your little unit of parents and DC - is as screwed up as you make it 
The family I grew up in is utterly dysfunctional (divorce, re-marriage, abuse, alcoholism and depression all featuring), but I figure my marriage and the home and family I create is mine to try and do better with! We'll see how I do with that...
My own family is totally screwed up, to the point where I have no contact with them.
My XH's family look like the perfect family and they would be other than the fact that everyone walks on eggshells around my XH so as to allow him to behave badly towards everyone. So I guess that makes them screwed up as well 
My own little family unit, just me and 3 DDs, seems like it's working well and we're not screwed up, despite the fact that I'm divorced and the DDs have different biological fathers. The DDs are happy and doing well generally and home is a nice place to be. Maybe I'm just deluded and we really are a screwed up family, but it certainly doesn't feel like that.
Absolutely!
His is weird and nasty. We have almost zero contact.
Mine is weird and nasty. We have almost zero contact.
Mine is a bit less weird and nasty than his, but that is a marginal shout.
A friend has a fully functioning family. They are lovely, supporting, visiting, visiting, knowing, gossiping, advising, visiting, having tea, gossiping, just popping in, advising, gossiping..... I don't think I'd have lasted very long if I had been born into that!
So yes, all dysfunctional.... in lots of different ways 
Thanks all for your replies, so much. It's incredibly interesting and helpful to read. I guess it is a real mixture (which I had guessed), possibly leaning towards a greater number of dysfunctional ones perhaps (like mine!)
alldirections my DDs have different biological fathers too, your post stuck a chord as mine and DPs families are also a little screwed up but DD seem so happy and well adjusted..! I don't know, I'm taking nothing for granted when I say that though!!
It's a shock isn't it noarmarni to meet a well functioning happy family!
It's rough isn't it mrs gosling, being perceived as the 'black sheep', though I care less the older I get; it sort of amuses me more now (but maybe I'm odd!)
Thanks to everyone else I haven't mentioned for sharing your experiences of family dynamics.
It seems to be luck of the draw regarding what family you are born into? Though I do see that all have ups and downs and require compromises however some families to seem to function much better naturally..I still am jealous (am I too old to be adopted at 36 ?!!)
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