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i lost my dear sister

(8 Posts)
lookfowardtohearing Sun 02-Mar-14 15:46:31

I lost my dear sister very suddenly a few months ago, ( she was 60 and I am 48).
I have a happy and busy life, socially and workwise.
suddenly, I have hit the wall, running.
I "fell apart" at work, shaking and nauseous.
I thought I had come to terms at my loss, yet out of the blue I feel completely alone.
just trying to move forward, remembering the happy times together, yet at the moment I am stuck

WildThong Sun 02-Mar-14 15:53:23

You should maybe go to your GP. Same happened to me, I lost my dsis to ovarian cancer. She had been misdiagnosed and treated for IBS for months and once it was discovered it was too late. 12 weeks later she was gone. The initial coping mechanisms get you through it but somewhere down the line the shock and grief set in, that's when to ask for help and support. Hope you get through this ok flowers

CogitoErgoSometimes Sun 02-Mar-14 16:04:54

I'm so sorry for your loss. A few months is not very long at all when you're talking about grief and, if it was sudden and you're normally very busy, all it can take is a pause in the action or a trigger event for the sadness to catch up with you - as you say, like hitting a wall. Do you have people you can talk to around you? People who will look after you? Partner? Other family? Hope you're taking some time out.

Joysmum Sun 02-Mar-14 17:50:10

If you have people to talk to, now is the time.

There's no right and wrong way to feel and quite often people struggle for the first time months after when it starts to sink in. Please, if you have anyone to chat to, do it.

caughtoutforsure Sun 02-Mar-14 20:56:46

I'm so sorry this has happened to you. As others have said, its very early days. Grief is different for all of us, and as you've found it can engulf you when you least expect it. I fell apart in the supermarket last week when I saw a particular loaf of bread I used to buy for my DM.

Be gentle on yourself and talk to someone in RL, and maybe get some support if that feels the right thing to do.

Take care.

helzapoppin2 Sun 02-Mar-14 21:32:35

It's too early for you to have come to terms with your loss. It sounds like it's only just hit you. All of this is entirely natural.
I lost my sister too, two years ago, but I was the older sister and she was your age. Like your situation, it was very sudden.
It's awful. Like losing a part of you. Time will help, but for now you are in shock and must be very kind to yourself, and talk to whoever you can about it.

pointythings Sun 02-Mar-14 21:37:02

I think this is very normal, the loss has just hit you. Please allow yourself to grieve as much as you want to, it is part of the healing process.
Don't feel you have to be strong.

If you feel you can't talk to anyone you know, these people might help.

flowers

jayho Sun 02-Mar-14 21:47:19

I'm so sorry for your loss. I think this is quite 'normal' in grief. I lost my dad and was sad but relatively ok until the first anniversary of his death when I lost it. Ended up needing three months off work.

Pointy's right don't try to be strong. It's a process, we all come through it at different times and in different ways, lean on as many people (and us) as you can.

((((hugs))))

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