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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

dh's reaction to dd

15 replies

not2nitedarling · 02/03/2014 10:35

so it's the middle of the night... dd4 comes into our room and climbs into bed. I give her a cuddle and am about to take her back to her room when she starts coughing. I say to her to sit up which she does and then promptly throws up on me.. my dh's reaction is to tell dd to shush!! then "stop it". I ask him to get me a towel.. to cover me and her to avoid it saturating the bed. He's huffing and telling dd to stop being silly. (she was crying loudly saying she didn't like being sick). I sat with her on the bed until she had stopped being sick. Meanwhile dh is using a towel to flick the bits onto the floor! WTAF!! so much more to add but .. this is not supportive or normal behaviour is it?

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LynetteScavo · 02/03/2014 10:40

You say there is much more to add, so I can't really comment on a one off middle of the night incident.

Cluffyflump · 02/03/2014 10:40

That is massively shit.
Is he an arse or was that out of character?

CogitoErgoSometimes · 02/03/2014 10:40

Given that it was the middle of the night and no-one really likes being vomited on I think your DH could be forgiven for not acting totally normally. Is he unsupportive more generally?

Nocomet · 02/03/2014 10:42

Nope!
My DH would make himself scarce and then ask if I need any help changing beds from a safe distance.

He isn't very good with people being sick (himself included), but he's great at bed changing/even DD1 sodding bunk, which I hate.

He wouldn't get annoyed with the DDs (I might a bit if I felt the child was old enough to know they feel sick and do it in an appropriate direction).

not2nitedarling · 02/03/2014 10:44

cognito ..he wasn't vomited on.. I was.. Yes I feel he is unsupportive

Cluffy.. not out of character at all

Felt like I was waffling.. as other things happened that made me fuming rather than feel like our dd was ill not just leave me to deal with it!

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not2nitedarling · 02/03/2014 10:46

Thank you Nocomet/ dh not good with poo/wee/vomit fair enough.. Leave me sort it but don't stand their huffing and tell her to shush or flicking bits of puke onto the floor in an attempt to get back in the bed! !!

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Bluestocking · 02/03/2014 10:47

No, this is not supportive or normal. Is there anything else you want to tell us about him?

FunkyBoldRibena · 02/03/2014 10:50

So he didn't get up, get a blankie to wrap her/you in, change the sheets whilst you sorted her out and get you a new nightie/pjs, put the sick sheets and your nightie/pjs in the machine for a wash and find out if she had a temperature or anything?

Nice.

mammadiggingdeep · 02/03/2014 10:52

No...that's shit.

You can't sleep in a bed with sick in it so he should have got up and either dealt with dd or stripped the bed, while you saw to dd.

Is he always so unhelpful? Not very sympathetic to a poorly child either.

not2nitedarling · 02/03/2014 10:52

funny Funky!
not sure Blue stocking

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not2nitedarling · 02/03/2014 10:57

mamma.. He didn't see the pile of sick on my side of the bed and was planning to get back in.. I was short tempered with him as he was just adding to situation and not helping.. we don't seem to be able to communicate to each other or just do stuff automatically.. she is never sick in bed though so a new one on us

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mammadiggingdeep · 02/03/2014 11:02

Oh ok, so the issue is more that he was huffy with a sick child and really unhelpful to you seeing to her?? Did you ask him to do anything after he huffed and flicked sick??

Cluffyflump · 02/03/2014 11:09

How's dd now?
Sorry he's such a twat.
My Dh can be a nob when woken in the night. He's much, much better since I let him know how much it made me dislike him.
I don't know weather your Dh would be willing to grow the fuck up change or not.
I have learnt that you can't make people change. They have to do it themselves.. We only have control over ourselves.

firesidechat · 02/03/2014 11:20

Nope!
My DH would make himself scarce and then ask if I need any help changing beds from a safe distance.

He isn't very good with people being sick (himself included), but he's great at bed changing/even DD1 sodding bunk, which I hate.

He wouldn't get annoyed with the DDs (I might a bit if I felt the child was old enough to know they feel sick and do it in an appropriate direction).

This^

My husband would be sick himself if he had to deal with vomit. He was wonderful in all other ways.

not2nitedarling · 02/03/2014 11:28

ok thanks everyone

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