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What do I tell her?

(8 Posts)
TreacleMoon123 Fri 28-Feb-14 19:49:03

Dp and I have split up and I've moved to my parents house temporarily until I get something sorted out. We have 3 dc. The eldest is 6. She is asking why we are staying in nannies house and I don't know what to tell her..
Any advice please?

davidsotherhalf Fri 28-Feb-14 22:58:19

tell her friends sometimes fall out, and you and dp have fallen out just like she sometimes falls out with her friends,

Cabrinha Fri 28-Feb-14 23:17:41

Well, tell her the truth. That you have split up.
My daughter was 4 & 3/4 at the time I told her, so a big younger. But at 5 1/2 now I'd say the same... She's far too interested in Disney happy ever after stories, so I told her that we realised that we were not each other's "one true love" and that we didn't want to be married to someone who wasn't. She totally "got" that. (thanks, Disney!)

I know there's always advice about saying that both parents still love her... But tbh, I didn't think (knowing her) that she'd worry about that for a moment, so I decided not to plant the idea in her head that it even required reassurance. I have however plenty of times since, when I'm saying I love you, dropped in "and Daddy loves you too".

Is there no way he could have moved out, so you didn't have disruption for kids?

Sorry you're going through this sad

TreacleMoon123 Sat 01-Mar-14 00:23:31

Thanks for replies but tbh I don't think I can tell her the truth. I'm hoping with counselling that dp and I can work things out and I think the truth would upset her too much unnecessarily ..
Maybe I'm disillusioned.

workingtolive Sat 01-Mar-14 00:29:50

Tell her the truth in an age appropriate way. I had a similar talk with my dc today to tell then that daddy saying he was working away was a lie and why. They weren't surprised but they were glad to know the truth and they were able to react, ask questions and process the reality.

If you are hoping to work things out then tell her. Whispers and uncertainty will be worse than her being confident in you for being honest.

TreacleMoon123 Sat 01-Mar-14 00:35:19

Your right, I guess I'm being selfish in a way by not wanting to tell her the truth.

Benzalkonium Sat 01-Mar-14 00:41:16

Keeping the status of your relationship a secret will be damaging to everyone, and the longer you leave it the harder it will be.

It's ok to keep it simple: mummy and daddy aren't getting on at the moment. We need to have some time apart, and try to make it better.

Joysmum Sat 01-Mar-14 08:47:09

I agree with the others. If you lie to her, she will learn that she can't believe what mummy says and you're the one person that she should be able to trust in.

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