My friend has been with her "D"P for nearly 10 years. For at least the past 3 years he has been controlling, emotionally abusive, financially abusive and aggressive (this last not towards her, but lots of road rage type incidents, getting out of car and shouting at other drivers).
They have one DC, who is 12 months old. My friend has cared for DC pretty much single handedly, every night waking, every nappy change up to about 10 months, does all the cleaning, all the cooking etc. My friend works freelance so her hours are erratic. The DC goes to nursery twice a week which my friend covers from her wages.
The "D"P owns a house, my friend isn't on the mortgage but has paid regularly and significant sums for years towards mortgage and refurbishment costs.
Since having DC, the DP's behavior has got worse and he has refused to modify his life and comforts to accommodate the baby (e.g. he wi stay in bed til 11am) and my friend (finally!) is ready to leave him.
But... She's not got any savings. Her work is erratic. She's from an EU country and has lived in UK for about 12 years but her family are elsewhere.
I want to help hee. I think worry over finances and legal rights are stopping her from leaving. She doesn't know where she would go to. She can't afford to rent a flat by herself.
What can I do to help? Surely her DP would legally have to financially contribute? How much would that be? How would that get sorted? How do they arrange custody if they aren't married? Do you still see a solicitor?
I think he has great potential to turn threatening/bullying if not violent. How does she leave safely if she has nowhere to go?
Such a mess and so sad. And I'm so worried she will stay with him because she doesn't know what else to do.
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Can anyone help me to help my friend? Financial, legal, custody advice needed
Facelikeafriendlyapple · 27/02/2014 20:17
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