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It's turning into The War of The Roses

(7 Posts)
Amicus1966 Wed 26-Feb-14 14:15:59

Dh and I separated but still living in same house.
We manage to be cordial in front of the DCs but pretty much avoid/ignore each other as much as possible.
Not had sexual relations since I moved into the spare room about a year ago.
I have seen a solicitor and she advised me to get in touch with Land Registry to state my interest in the family home. He was not happy about this.
Have told him that in order for both of us to move on he needs to put the house up for sale. He refuses and I can't afford to get somewhere else to live for me and the 3 DCs.
I realise that in order for me to force the sale of the property I need to start divorce proceedings which I was hoping to avoid.
I cannot afford to divorce him and he knows this.
Feel stuck.
Any advice would be welcome.

lookingfoxy Wed 26-Feb-14 14:33:16

He needs to realise that the situation cannot carry on as it is indefinitely.

Do you know what he wants, it sounds like you need to sit him down and ask him.

It really doesn't sound as if he wants to divorce or for you to move out or on.

Does he want to reconcile the marriage?

Big chat required!!

CogitoErgoSometimes Wed 26-Feb-14 14:35:08

You can afford to divorce him. If you look/ask around there will be a solicitor that doesn't want an up front fee but is prepared to defer payment until the financial settlement is finalised. Might cost more but has to be worth it to end this stalemate. BTW... cordial in front of the DCs doesn't mean they don't know something's desperately wrong.

louby44 Wed 26-Feb-14 14:46:34

I lived with my exP for 8 weeks after our split and it was awful. I lost weight, couldn't sleep, I was a nervous wreck. He was horrible and getting more so as time went on.

Luckily he moved out. I know what you're going through!

treadpattern Wed 26-Feb-14 14:47:23

I didn't pay my solictor till some time down the line and even then I arranged favourable payment terms with them. They have a job to do and most of them are quite willing to help even if you end up taking 5 years to pay them back.

Good luck with everything

Amicus1966 Wed 26-Feb-14 15:48:50

I don't think he wants to save the marriage any more than I do, but being in the same house suits him as he sees his children and gets a built in babysitter whenever it suits him.
He seems to get some kind of kick out of this situation like a power thing.
I have applied for a number of jobs to try to gain some financial independence but he absolutely refuses to co operate re child care and I wouldn't be in a position to afford it on my own.
Yet another reason for this overwhelming feeling of being stuck here.

CogitoErgoSometimes Wed 26-Feb-14 17:11:18

Do talk to some more solicitors. Divorce is really the only way out of this stalemate

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