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Looking into each others' eyes during sex

(43 Posts)
missryangosling Tue 25-Feb-14 18:11:58

Is it weird that I cannot and have never been able to do this? I am in a relatively new relationship but have never been able to do it - not even with my ex-partner of 8 years.

I am quite prudish (feel fat, need some clothes on, lights off etc.) and have never fully let go with wild abandon, sometimes fake orgasms to get it over with - not just with new guy, always. Have I got some deep seated intimacy issues? Nothing bad has happened to me, no bad sexual experiences and i'm pushing mid-thirties so shouldn't I be in my prime? Does anyone else share these issues, close eyes during sex etc or is it just me?

DustyBaubles Tue 25-Feb-14 18:17:21

I think if I looked into my husband's eyes, he'd stop and assume I'd heard a child/burglar/exploding microwave grin

Plus, I'd probably suddenly do a spluttery laugh, as I'd feel like I was trying too hard.

Think I might have issues myself, come to think of it!

MrsDavidBowie Tue 25-Feb-14 18:18:49

I'm too busy watching the news at ten.

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE Tue 25-Feb-14 18:19:15

I just end up laughing confused

Dirtybadger Tue 25-Feb-14 18:22:27

I don't/haven't. I don't fake orgasms and can do wild abandon, though. I'm probably not a good example but you're not alone, at least.

Offred Tue 25-Feb-14 18:25:51

It does sound like you have some issues worth exploring. I've got my own but I do like looking at bf when we're that way round and we're usually that way round because we want to do that kind of sex...

If you don't want to look into his eyes because you just don't like it - fine, if it is because you don't like yourself - not good.

dobedobedo Tue 25-Feb-14 18:27:15

I might try it now to freak dh out! grin

KatieScarlett2833 Tue 25-Feb-14 18:27:49

But I'd miss the news shock

MrsDavidBowie Tue 25-Feb-14 18:28:47

yes let's all try it and confuse our partners.
Mind you, we've had sex once this year.

StickEmUpBigStyle Tue 25-Feb-14 18:30:23

I do this! Its quite sexy.

missryangosling Tue 25-Feb-14 18:31:19

Ok. Feeling less weird now - thought I was the odd one out.

Coelacanth Tue 25-Feb-14 18:32:53

An ex lover of mine and me used to stare into each other's eyes post-shag and if we got the angle just right (we'd be on our sides facing each other) we'd end up with just one cyclops eye each - oh how we laughed grin.

BetterThanASlaterUpYourNose Tue 25-Feb-14 18:38:03

I bloody love doing it. It is massively sexy.

I don't do it for the whole time but depending on positions it is a huge turn on really watching each other's faces.

Plus if I have already <ahem> been satisfied I can look at DH and do a really sexy smile then he is guaranteed to orgasm and then I can go and watch telly. grin

somedizzywhore1804 Tue 25-Feb-14 18:41:28

Had an ex who was hugely intense/slightly mad and insisted on this. Gives me the creeps and don't do it with DH. If anything I'd say our sex life is more fun that serious/intense and that's why we don't do it. Also, he has a gammy eye grin

maggiemight Tue 25-Feb-14 18:41:34

Plus if I have already <ahem> been satisfied I can look at DH and do a really sexy smile then he is guaranteed to orgasm and then I can go and watch telly

That's useful to know, thanks MN.

BetterThanASlaterUpYourNose Tue 25-Feb-14 18:47:06

Are you going to use that trick Maggie or are you horrified by my over sharing?

Dirtybadger Tue 25-Feb-14 18:55:59

Thinking about it if it was early morning or late at night I'd have my contact lenses out. I'd be achieving nothing. My eyes are probably wandering everywhere. Sexy.

BetterThanASlaterUpYourNose Tue 25-Feb-14 19:02:49

Dirtybadger grin

maras2 Tue 25-Feb-14 19:30:18

Ahh . We were always at it when we were younger ; his eyes were deep blue whirlpools of lust . It was so sensuous and lovely. However 45 years later , I'm more in mind to be thinking ' What's that degenerative fecker that puts a halo around his cornea ? ' or ' Shit. I wish I had my glasses on so I could tell if that cloudiness is a cateract developing or just my crap eyesight ? '. Best for both of us to keep our age 60 plus eyes shut these days . smile

Confusedbytechnology Tue 25-Feb-14 19:56:10

I love the eye contact thing. My dp does it all the time and I think it makes me feel very connected to him. It helps that he's really attractive too!
I think there is evidence that the more you look at someone the more attracted and close you become too

OtisSpankmyarse Tue 25-Feb-14 20:53:42

Eye contact is lovely, unfortunately we are spectacularly mismatched height-wise so it's a bit tricky plus I like it best on all fours anyway

maggiemight Tue 25-Feb-14 20:57:32

Betterthan no, def will use that, over share as much as you like! Always wish DH would get a move on once I am ready to sleep grin

VeryStressedMum Tue 25-Feb-14 21:05:58

We do look at each other, but in a catch his eye sort of way rather than staring deeply and intently. I don't have issues it's just not something I find particularly necessary to feel connected to him.
It sounds like you have confidence issues which are holding you back. If you feel self conscious you most likely can't relax enough to let go and enjoy yourself and if you feel that way you'll not want him staring at you.

Neitheronethingortheother Tue 25-Feb-14 21:07:00

Every now and again, just to check what he's doing. I prefer to look at him looking at me. I get turned by him getting turned on by looking aT me. I like to make eye contact when I am orgasming. I do like having my eyes closed for some of it too.

annabelcaramel Tue 25-Feb-14 21:09:01

Cross-references this to my eye mask thread.......

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