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Tricky situation

(8 Posts)
RealHousewivesofNorwich Tue 25-Feb-14 03:37:54

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BelleOfTheBorstal Tue 25-Feb-14 03:46:44

I have read but no advice, really. Hopefully, a wiser person will be along soon.

purplemurple1 Tue 25-Feb-14 05:15:24

I would limit any time spent with them ( not cut them out though as that would hurt dp) and concentrate on your own family.
On this occasion I wouldn't bring it up with dp but might if it happened again bring it up straight away as a passing comment. Generally I'd stop giving them any head space - water of a ducks back and all that.

Hope your dad's ok.

CogitoErgoSometimes Tue 25-Feb-14 05:31:18

All I'm getting from this is that his family treat you with a kind of frosty tolerance rather than genuinely liking you. Civil rather than friendly. To be fair, you don't seem to particularly like them either. Unless anyone is being directly offensive or unpleasant, I'm not sure what your partner can do about it. You can't expect everyone you meet to feel warm and fuzzy towards you.

My view with people like this is that you can either square up to them, poke fun at them or tolerate them right back. Depends how much time you have to spend with them really.

nameuschangeus Tue 25-Feb-14 06:01:16

They sound deliberately unkind to me. I think I'd be inclined to avoid them as much as I could and concentrate on my own family. I don't think I'd bother sharing any information that was important to me either. They don't seem as though they genuinely care. Try not to let them hurt your feelings any more.

RealHousewivesofNorwich Tue 25-Feb-14 07:13:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Walkacrossthesand Tue 25-Feb-14 07:28:00

I find it helpful to view my open-ness and readiness to talk freely, as a 'gift' that I can choose whether to give or not. A person who behaves like your MIL - false, perhaps unreliable - loses their access to my 'gift', and polite-and-formal becomes my stance with them. Heck, they may not even notice, and probably won't care - but I know that I'm withholding something from them that's special for me, and that helps me deal with them. I've got it going on with a work colleague ATM, who has been sly/shirky once too often. 'Fool me once, shame on you - fool me twice, shame on me'!

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Tue 25-Feb-14 12:21:56

They sound a strange lot, glad your DP is a good person. As long as you're aware of how they behave, you can choose how much you reveal to them. Oddly this sort of personality can sometimes come up trumps in a crisis. You may not ever feel the type of closeness you might have wished for, but don't hanker for what they can't give.

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