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Crying in bed!

(11 Posts)
Ships99 Tue 25-Feb-14 00:30:29

My boyfriend has just returned from working away (been away 5 weeks). He lives about 40 miles from me and I usually see him on a weekend or alternate weekends (I have two kids).
He emailed me quite a lot for the first four weeks but the last week he was no contact. I thought things were going well with our relationship.
He has returned and said the internet was completely off and no emails could be sent in that last 9 days. The thing is, he logged into his email on my computer when he was here before and (I know I shouldn't have) but I opened his email inbox and found the week he said he couldn't message me, he was messaging several women (they live abroad) and looks like he has sent money (£200) to one and offered for her to come and live with him and work for him.
What the actual hell? I've messaged him that I feel let down he didn't contact me at all and feel he is taking me for a ride and that I feel i cannot trust him. I thought he was honest and a general good bloke. Obviously I cannot admit to looking at his emails, but WTF!
I'm crying now. I feel such a fool.

Dirtybadger Tue 25-Feb-14 00:32:56

You don't need to admit it if you don't want to. That's awful. End it. Fortunately you live far ish away so NC should be easy enough. What a dick!

cupcake78 Tue 25-Feb-14 00:40:57

Your not the fool op he is! Can you imagine being so stupid as to suddenly sending someone money and asking them to come and live with them! Who does that?

He sounds like an unreliable prat and I think your better off without him. You don't need to give him a reason. You owe him nothing. He has broken the rules of the relationship, he can't be trusted, walk away, remain dignified. I think you've been lucky to find out before he moved in etc.

Ships99 Tue 25-Feb-14 01:36:21

I'm just a bit perplexed by it all. I think you're right, at least I found out now rather than later. I suppose my gut instinct was right not to trust him and check the emails but I'm
not proud of having done so.

Joysmum Tue 25-Feb-14 01:48:58

I would be proud. I'm not one of the crowd in here that thinks giving in to your instincts is wrong. Clearly you were right to do so, as so often our instincts are right.

Ships99 Tue 25-Feb-14 07:41:05

Thanks. I have ended it and was keen to tell him exactly how I know he is a snake but I didn't want to tell him I read his emails. I didn't dare!
Thanks for the support smile

CogitoErgoSometimes Tue 25-Feb-14 08:34:38

Two wrongs don't make a right, admittedly, but I don't think that's relevant here. You've found out some information that he was never going to volunteer and his behaviour has been poor. As it's ending and you need never deal with him again, why worry about his reaction? Or does 'I didn't dare' mean you fear his response in a more tangible way?

bragmatic Tue 25-Feb-14 08:44:23

Meh, I'd have told him. "You're a lying arse, now piss off."

Ships99 Tue 25-Feb-14 13:40:17

I meant I didn't dare tell him, as hacking emails is illegal and I would be worried that he would get me in trouble over it.
I feel I want to tell him how I feel, but I know he clearly doesn't give two hoots and I won't get any beneficial response!

EllaFitzgerald Tue 25-Feb-14 13:52:28

Forget about having read his emails and thank your lucky stars that you listened to your instincts and found out what he's like now, rather than a year down the line.
Telling him how you feel is only going to make things worse, as it drags out communication between you, and you won't get the response you want. Onwards and upwards, Ships!

BeCool Tue 25-Feb-14 14:01:29

He left his email account logged in on your computer - that's not hacking it is? Simply making the most of an opportunity presented to you surely? Thank goodness you resisted the urge to change his email password while you were there though

Good one for ending it - he was lying to you and stringing you on.

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