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Shouldn't it be getting easier by now? Still a wreck.

(3 Posts)
Andwhynot Mon 24-Feb-14 12:25:49

Posted before about H's affair and the sudden end of our 13 year marriage but still really struggling as every day brings a new blow.

It was DD's birthday (7) yesterday and H arrived with no card and no present. After an hour or so DD's little friend popped over with a present which prompted H to make his excuses and leave even though the arrangement was he was staying for 'birthday tea' and cake.

I then got a text saying he was moving in with OW and her DD (who had been a 'friend' of my DD) after four months and could I tell our DD so she got used to the idea.

We jointly ran a business together and he has frozen me out leaving me with no income and to add insult to injury I have just received a £4,500 tax bill for money I never actually received.

He wants to sell the house immediately and although I have no support in the city I live in and all my family live 400 miles away, he is refusing to let me move away even though I have an inherited flat I could live in.

The bills arrive daily. Backdated council tax of almost £1000 as he stopped paying at Christmas and received a rebate by telling them he moved out months before.

I have run up a £7000 legal bill just sorting out his visitation and I can't see that I will ever be free of this controlling bully.

I feel so incredibly low. I have no income, no family, no future and I am a truly rotten example for my adorable daughter.

When does it get better?

Sorry for the rant and thanks for reading, if you got this far!!

buttonortwo Mon 24-Feb-14 12:46:59

Oh dear, so sorry you are going through this, it is a horrible place to be and position to be in. I was with exh 13 years too, tye end of the marriage is hard to deal with let alone ow. Sounds like you ex has made quick decision and I doubt it will last with ow. Do not understand why no card or present for your dd? How awful..
It WILL get better, hold on to that hope, you will be an inspiration to your dd.. Have you been to gp? Considered counselling?

CogitoErgoSometimes Mon 24-Feb-14 13:33:07

I'm sorry that you're coping with so much stress and I really hope your legal team get you out of this marriage quickly, but how on earth are you a rotten example to your DD? You're the one that stayed for her. You're the one swallowing your pain and allowing your ex to turn up for birthday parties.

In your shoes I'd head off to that flat in the other town and argue the toss later. Legal matters being what they are, by the time he could build a case against you, DD would be settled. Who is he to give you permission? I'd also be welcoming the estate agents with open arms, selling the house and pocketing the cash. Cut the ties that bind you - financial, geographical etc - and he can't control you any more

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