Would you ever go back to someone who....

[curiousgeorgie]

Held you down in bed and poured water all over your face?

My very close friend did this to his gf this morning and (of course!) she has walked out..

She is absolutely amazing. Takes care of his kids more than he does, embraced us all as family, is generally fantastic and we love her.

He wants her back... Is devastated and seems sorry. We're advising him massive apologies and much grovelling... It's a lost cause right?

[ilovemydoggy]

Why did he do that? Was it meant to be harmful or playing?

[Innogen]

Dear god no. If that was in attempt to physically intimate her, if never go back.

[Sortyourmakeupout]

Lost cause.

[Innogen]

Unless he was play fighting, and she took it badly? I'd have poured right back in that case.

[VelmaD]

Oh dear god, please please dont try and get this woman to go back to your friend. To do that is unacceptable. It is truely abusive behaviour, and there is a reason water boarding is a torture form.

Let the woman have her life back.

Get your friend to be single and get some counselling.

[curiousgeorgie]

She usually gets up in the morning and sees to the kids on the weekends (an angel I know!!!), but she didn't, so he did it.

We are all ridiculously pissed at him and totally on her side but is there any way back?

[anapitt]

why did he do that ?

[holstenlips]

That is hideous :-(
Hope she's ok

[fortyplus]

Did he do it because he was angry or was he trying to be funny? Either way, he's an arse, but if he was just trying to be funny I might forgive it as a one-off if he absolutely grovelled.

[anapitt]

cross posted. what does he have to say for himself ?

[AnyFuckerHQ]

You are condoning this, right ?

Why don't you tell your "very close friend" he is an abuser and to fuck off to the far side of fuck and leave his partner alone ?

[Sortyourmakeupout]

So he did it to get her out of bed to attend to the children?

[VelmaD]

So his girlfriend wanted him to deal with his own kids and took a stand for herself and he punished her?

Any reason why his previous relationship failed?

He sounds like an arsehole.

[curiousgeorgie]

Absolutely not!!! We screamed at him!!!

[fortyplus]

xp - because she didn't get up to the kids??!!
She should follow the age old mn advice of tell him to fuck off to the far side of fuck and when he gets there fuck off some more

[AnyFuckerHQ]

By trying to persuade him to apologise and giving him the expectation that is anywhere near enough then yes, you are condoning it

The only sane response to him here is "you wrecked your relationship forever, get some help and leave her alone"

[curiousgeorgie]

I told him he can't fix it. I feel terrible for her.

[waltermittymissus]

Screamed at him? But then told him to grovel!

Tell him to leave her alone and let her have the chance of happiness with someone who is not an abuser.

You're not on her side if you're not telling this vile creature to stay the fuck away from her.

[AnyFuckerHQ]

No, you advised him mucho apologies and massive grovelling (in an attempt to get his partner back on board)

have the courage of your convictions

or condone it

you can't have both

[CocktailQueen]

So the kids aren't hers.
She gets up at weekends to look after them.
One day she didn't and her partner poured water on her.

Wtaf?

She should leave him.

He needs to grow the fuck up, look after his own children and stop assaulting people.

How he can think that is right or acceptable on any Level is beyond me.

Entitled Tosser.

[FreeLikeABird]

Disgusting behaviour, was he angry when he done this?

If she always gets up with the kids at the weekends could he not have just let her have a day off?

Sounds like a total bullying prick if you ask me, no I wouldn't go back, who does he think he is.

[curiousgeorgie]

We said he's ruined it. But yes, he turned up at my house on a happy Sunday with my children here crying and shouting and in an effort to calm him down said apologise, give her space but grovel, you're so in the wrong, you did a hideous thing.

I absolutely don't condone it!

It was a shock and he was hysterical in front of my 3 year old...

I feel awful, absolutely awful for her. We made them both godparents to our baby we love them... She's seriously the best person we've ever known him to be with. I can't believe he did it.

I called her to check she was okay and she said she would come over, but obviously he was here and I said I would tell him to go but she hung up ...

[NonnoMum]

This is so depressing...

Does he treat his kids abusively too? Or does he merely neglect them and hope that someone else deals with them?

[curiousgeorgie]

And I do not condone it at all.. I think it's ridiculous to say that..,

No one has screamed at him more than me today.

[AnyFuckerHQ]

She hung up when she realised he was at your house ?

Not surprised

Are you a bit hard of thinking ?