A few years ago we went through a very bad patch in life and I'd say pretty much all our friends bar one fell by the wayside.
As you can imagine, she is a valued friend : friend A She is still friends with the people who let me down, and while I hear about them from time to time, I felt settled enough about it.
Recently, my DH insisted on inviting some friends of his to a BBQ we had.
The wife of this couple (friend B) met A and they have become good friends now and organise meet ups without me. It hurts, more than it should, and I think it is because of the history with friend A and the "old group" and everything that happened.
I feel that B might not want to be my friend but does want to be friends with A which written down does sound rather immature.
But I think that feeling is coming from this old history because the group wanted to be friends with A and not me and they were a group of friends from our twenties, many years ago, when I was less mature.
I think it is also hurting as recently we have been through another bad patch and A has been the only one who has been there for me.
I just needed to write that down. It actually feels like to me that this upset about A and B is actually stemming from other stuff : being let down by the "group" in the past and then having moved on, again being let down by the newer friends I had made.
Maybe I just need to recognise what a lovely friend A is and that actually people do let you down, but you only find a handful of true friends in life.
No not consciously - interesting if that is that what it comes across as. It's hard posting on a public forum but it was a really bad life event and then another that happened, rather than anything I did, that people found hard to deal with.
i think there is too little info to diagnose wendy just yet...
are there any misgivings about friend a that you haven't told us? is it possible she is turning others away from you?
seems to me like she is a good friend, but you've had several experiences of other people liking her but not you (sorry, that is soooo blunt). so either it's to do with you, or it's to do with her. really objectively, what do you think it is?
needtosleep, also don't take it to heart. i bet it's nothing personal.
i know i'm not an easy person to like. i tend to have a few long term, close friends but don't make friends easily. it often happens that people i meet are more friendly with my friends than me. it does hurt, but also the flip side is that i don't have a huge amount of spare time, so it works out really. i struggle to maintain the friendships i do have!