So, I've been with my DH over 12 years, married for 5. We've always had a good relationship, I trusted him 100%, he is in my eyes a perfect husband and daddy to our DS. Why am I posting then?! About 18 months ago I found out he had gone to a strip club on his stag do and had a fully nude private lap dance. I was absolutely heartbroken....given I was 7/8 months pregnant at finding out, shortly after having our DS my confidence hit rock bottom, I hated my body and how I looked and couldn't get the idea of this beautiful naked stripper being all over my husband. I posted on here and had some helpful advice, we ended up going to a counsellor to talk things through. My husband has always apologised for what happened, wished it hadn't, he was drunk and never drinks, says he loves me and my body is perfect in his eyes. He says all the right things which SHOULD reassure me. Part of me just wishes I could accept what has happened, learn from it and move on....but in my mind I'm just not the same person anymore.
So here's my issue. Now I just can't get the idea out my head that my DS fancies every pretty woman out there, I'm stupidly jealous, even over celebrities, I'm obsessed by seeing what Kelly brook looks like in th latest pics on daily mail to see what my husband is oogling at?!? How ridiculous is that! We take our DS to a soft play centre, and all I'm thinking is that there are loads of pretty mums here that he must be fancying! When we are intimate I'm thinking, he wishes I was the stripper. I can't understand why he is with me when there are prettier women he could be with.
It's stupid isn't it?!? I've honestly gone from one extreme to another, we used to be so secure together, I trusted him and knew he'd never hurt me....I guess then he did and now I'm just turning into this crazy super jealous wife and I hate it but don't know how to stop!
Don't know whether I should go back to counsellor on my own? Any other suggestions or advice greatly appreciated!!
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Relationships
Lost all my confidence....feel so insecure!!!
Hitchy83 · 23/02/2014 07:56
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