This is my first ever post. I have been lurking for a while.
This may be long so thank you if you make it through!
Anyway, I am 38 weeks pregnant with first child. I have been with partner for 10 years, married for 2.5yrs.
I don't think my partner loves or even likes me anymore.
We have spent the whole of the pregnancy arguing and I would say he is only happy 20% of the time.
The pregnancy was planned.
I feel like nothing I do is enough or good enough. He is constantly trying to push me (in what he thinks is a good way) to do more/be better but I just feel like I can never be good enough or do enough.
He always seems angry, whether at me or other people and says he has a lot on his mind. His work is quite stressful. I am self employed.
I can get very defensive, especially when I feel like he is trying to push me. This makes him more angry and we argue.
I always feel like I have to have a huge list of things ready to say to him to please him when he asks me what I did today. But he always says "but did you do this...?" When I think he knows I haven't. It makes me feel like I can never do the right thing/enough.
During the 20% of the time that he is happy he is like a different person and is wonderful to be around. But I am always treading on eggshells waiting for his mood to change.
The men in his family have a history of depression and we both think this might be a factor but he won't go to the GP. He has never been violent, and never would be - he is a very gentle person.
It is absolutely breaking my heart that we seem to hate each other, especially when we should be so happy at the birth of our first child.
He said during a recent argument "sometimes I really hate being in this relationship". Which really hurt but I feel the same - I just don't think I would have told him that.
Tonight, I picked him up after we had both been out and as soon as he got in the car he was in a mood. We hardly spoke all the way home, then he went straight to bed. Again he said he had a lot on his mind but nothing that he wanted to talk about. And he always says that I don't communicate with him enough. I'm not very good at talking about myself/emotions.
I'm not really sure why I'm writing this but I'm hoping someone can give me constructive advice on how to save our relationship.
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Relationships
Expecting first baby, think marriage is breaking up
17 replies
WillItEverBeTheSameAgain · 22/02/2014 01:33
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