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husband can't deal with with stress??

(10 Posts)
rumblefish Fri 21-Feb-14 21:38:19

Husband is a recovering alcoholic and has been dry for years.

He has been having very serious anger outbursts which are due to his (my in laws) family issues and stresses at work.

I have been dealing with these for years and I have run out of energy.

He has told me he feel suicidal and cant deal with the day to day routine of life it is to stressful for him. He will not see a doctor and will not take tablets.

Can anyone recommend counselling or therapy.

IrreversibleFall Fri 21-Feb-14 22:13:42

I can't recommend what you're asking for, but as a bloke who's been in a similar place before I feel compelled to reply. I had that lot, anger outbursts, job stress, inability to cope, too proud to see a doc/take pills, wanting to deal with it myself ... but the answer was to see a Doctor.

It turned out to be a physical (rather than a mental) issue, my thyroid wasn't working properly. For a Doctor it's a standard thing to deal with, but I'd been needlessly struggling through with a reduced quality of life (and having a bad impact on those around me) for no reason for years.

Not saying that'll be the reason, but I think that would be first thing to do.

Hope you can persuade him to go.

rumblefish Fri 21-Feb-14 23:09:51

Thank you I will have a chat with him but his mum takes a lot of prescription tablets for depression and he does not want to see a doctor for this reason as he has an additive personality x

DrJeanGrey Fri 21-Feb-14 23:13:27

rumblefish, I agree with IF here that your hubby must see a doctor. I think if you let him know that there are numerous physical causes for feeling like that he might be more inclined. MI can carry a stigma sadly that many people (esp men) find shameful. You might need to manipulate a little here, but he will be grateful for the help once he begin to get it.

Counselling would also be good, but he is surely less likely to agree to this than a GP?

Incidentally, depression manifests as anger in men very frequently. If he is suicidal this is really very concerning. The feeling of not being able to cope is very unpleasant, scary and can cause people to lash out at those closest to them.

DrJeanGrey Fri 21-Feb-14 23:15:58

Anti depressants are not addictive OP, as far as I know.

rumblefish Fri 21-Feb-14 23:26:17

Thank you I will have a chat with him but he has a family addiction which affects him going to the doctors.

Dirtybadger Sat 22-Feb-14 00:09:31

Many of our recovering heroin addicts take ads. A Dr will be able to work around it easily enough.

innisglas Sat 22-Feb-14 00:33:54

Mmm, you could say that just because he sees a doctor doesn't mean he has to take the medicine. But at least you could find out if he has a thyroid problem or if there is any non-addictive medicine he came take.

Having a name for his problems might help me to explore alternatives too.
Meanwhile Vitamin B complex is very very good for the nerves.

CogitoErgoSometimes Sat 22-Feb-14 05:20:16

If he refuses to see a doctor then I'm sorry but you should not stick around for more punishment but get yourself safe and happy. If he has mental health problems they need diagnosis & treatment. They are not an excuse to treat you and other family members badly.

Does he have angry outbursts with others - shop staff, family, colleagues, random strangers - or just you? If it's just you it means he can control it. Then it could be that this is nothing to do with stress whatsoever and he's simply choosing to be a bully.

MistressDeeCee Sat 22-Feb-14 05:47:39

OP your husband should definetely see a doctor. Using you as a sounding board for his outbursts is unfair and wrong, thats not what a relationship is about. So he refuses to see a doctor, then what? You end up physically and emotionally drained. This kind of stubborness needs an ultimatum sharpish, only you know how he would take this tho.

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