Everything's piling up! Anyone else?

[feelinlucky]

It's as if the devil is sitting on my shoulder and making my life hell :)

I've got so much to deal with right now. Ooh, meant to say I've name changed but I'm a long term mumsnetter. I won't go through all my anxieties/problems but the one that's causing me some difficulty and causing more than a couple of sleepless nights is my ex and his complete rejection of our son.

My ex was an emotionally abusive man. I instigated the split because I knew things would never change and I didn't love him. We didn't fully disconnect for years, partly because I wanted my child to have a relationship with his dad, however things became too difficult and I cut ties. He them cut ties with our son but maintained a small number of hours once a week. 4 weeks ago he just didn't show to collect our son and hasn't been on contact since. My son seems absolutely fine but I'm just flabbergasted that a man who has had constant contact with his child for 11 years could just go. No notice, no contact, nothing! He has my number and he lives 10 minute drive away. I just don't get it.

[feelinlucky]

Oh well, I haven't name changed. That was a big fat failure :)

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

If your son seems fine about it then that's a good start. Have you spoken to your DS and asked him what his take on all this is? Children, IME, can be incredibly pragmatic and unsentimental about the adults in their lives.

[feelinlucky]

Hi cog, he seems fine and in some respects more relaxed than he was when he was seeing his dad. I know too though that he's incredibly hurt and I'm worried about how this will impact on him emotionally in the future. He's such a gorgeous little man. I can only hope he will be ok and the scars won't be too deep.

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

Then be honest with your DS. Acknowledge his feelings and tell him that you know what it's like to be on the receiving end of Dad's thoughtlessness. I know some people are worried about 'badmouthing' an ex to a child but being honest, telling the truth and sharing an experience like this is not badmouthing. It can bring you closer together