Newly single parent

[EverythingsDozy]

My husband (together for 10 years, married for nearly 2, DD age 3, DS age 1) left only 7 weeks ago. I caught him on NYE with another woman in my bed (he says they didn't have sex and has told me off for telling people they did. How was I meant to know, when I tried to get into my own home and he runs down in his boxers and found a condom on the floor that he didn't have sex with her?!).

Im just really asking for a bit of advice about everything. Financially, we are fine, but I so badly want him back to be a family. I struggle with the kids some days (we've had a lot of seasonal illnesses recently so up to my elbows in all sorts of bodily fluids!) and I just want him to come home but he says he's in love with this other woman. She is 20 (he is 25), I don't really want her part of my children's lives, mostly because of her young age but some because she took my husband and because I want to annoy him, petty I know.
He has told me that he hasn't been happy for months because I don't listen to him. I just feel like the neglectful wife and it's all my fault. I've had PND since the kids so I've had my own problems I just couldn't see past. I feel robbed of my chance to fix my marriage because he didn't tell me any of this. He didn't tell me he was falling in love with someone else! He is sleeping in her car (she still lives at home with parents), I didn't realise living with me was so bad he would rather live in a car!!!

I just can't get over all of this. I have had abandonment issues for some while, since my dad died, and a lot of people that I love have left me. His leaving has just cemented the fact that everybody is going to leave me. I'm still having up and down days, some days I feel really strong and others I just want to plead with him to come home (which I haven't, I have never begged him to come back). He seems to think that I should be over all this now and he should be able to see the children on his terms and introduce OW to them. He sees them every other weekend, his parents pick them up and take them to theirs and he is (meant to be) staying there.
I don't want this. This is never the situation I had seen in my future. I want to be a petulant child and stamp my feet until I get what I want!! I love my husband very much. It all seems so out of character for him, he has never been so cruel to anyone in his life, why did he pick me??

[Monetbyhimself]

He did this to you. HE chose to lie and cheat and manipulate. You are bound to be full of so many emotions right now that it's hard to see clearly.
Am going to suggest that you ask for your thread to be moved to the relationships board-it's a lot busier there anc there are lots of brilliant women who can give you lots of advice. If you click on 'report this thread' and send MNHQ a message I'm sure they'd move it for you.

Keep posting-things WILL get better x

[EverythingsDozy]

Thank you, I will do that.