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Good sex, shit relationship

(5 Posts)
FlatsInDagenham Thu 20-Feb-14 21:00:48

That's it in a nutshell. I've posted many times under different names about my marriage problems - most of them (but not all) connected to DH's drinking. So this thread isn't so much about those particular issues - I was just wondering if anyone else had been in the situation where the relationship is terrible but the sex is still good? In fact it's better than it's ever been in our 22year relationship. It's very confusing emotionally because sex makes us feel bonded and happy but sometimes I think it's the only thing that's any good in the marriage. Apart from the fact that we can still make each other laugh.

So - sex and laughter - very important aspects of a relationship - but are they enough on their own?

CogitoErgoSometimes Thu 20-Feb-14 21:09:46

Clearly they're not enough on their own or you wouldn't be asking. I wonder if it isn't a form of 'hysterical bonding' such as you see when couples try to make a go of it after an affair. In the absence of anything else more meaningful you've reduced your relationship to its basest level... itch scratching.

FlatsInDagenham Thu 20-Feb-14 21:16:29

Interesting idea. I will ponder on it.

It feels more meaningful than itch scratching.

pinkpaws Fri 21-Feb-14 18:41:45

Maybe you are wanting to much great sex and laughter is more than alot of people have. So dont set your standards by others and what is seen as normal if it suits you then its enough if not and in your heart you will know the answer to that, then its time to move on.

Offred Fri 21-Feb-14 18:56:00

No not enough for a marriage. Fine for a very casual bf.

Not enough to outweigh the difficulty of being married to an alcoholic.

Can understand what you say about it being confusing though.

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