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Not being told the truth - I am being harsh?

(30 Posts)
Daffodil45 Thu 20-Feb-14 19:39:16

I shall keep this to the point,but looking for some advice please,
Been with the OH for nearly 2 years, don't know their address except for the county, ( we don't live together).
All of our phone conversations are whilst they are driving and I've not met any of their family at all.
Found out last week that they had committed bigamy and that they hadn't told me, but assumed I must know as other people around us knew.
I'm totally humiliated as everyone seems to have known,except me and I don't know if I should end our relationship - I would add, had I have known I would not have gotten involved with them
Please help ��

Teeb Thu 20-Feb-14 19:43:36

When you say he commited bigamy, you don't mean with you do you?

Meerka Thu 20-Feb-14 19:43:58

don't know their address except for the county

after two years ?

You're being played. Big style.

You deserve a lot better than this.

btw, you call him/her "them"... is that to conceal his/her gender? just curious smile

marriednotdead Thu 20-Feb-14 19:44:23

2 years?!

Even without finding out about the bigamy I'd have been asking searching questions long before now. Why has he not wanted to share ANY PART of the rest of his world with you?

Forget being humiliated, he's obviously an accomplished deceiver to have managed bigamy hmm

Time for you to move on... Sorry.

Daffodil45 Thu 20-Feb-14 19:55:36

Just to clarify I am not the OW who he committed bigamy with
I am f and he is m lol
I've asked the obvious questions about meeting family but there has always been an excuse

FetchezLaVache Thu 20-Feb-14 19:58:17

Did you find out about the bigamy from him? I'm guessing you didn't.

Not divulging his address, introducing you to his family or calling from home all point to at least one wife currently on the go. Seriously, you need to bin him forthwith.

BrunoBrookesDinedAlone Thu 20-Feb-14 19:58:36

That's because he's doing exactly the same thing with you -he's probably got someone else on the go this time as well!!

Only communicating with you when he's on his own and has privacy to call.
No meetings with family
No address.

Come ON!

Dump. This one is a waste of time.

GinUtero Thu 20-Feb-14 19:59:06

So to clarify, have you not actually been to his house in the entire two years you've been seeing him, OP?

ThinkFirst Thu 20-Feb-14 20:11:07

Don't know his address and he only talks to you while driving? I'm sorry to say this but yes, you are the OW and he's probably still married to at least one other woman. Do you really need to be advised to end it?

hickorychicken Thu 20-Feb-14 20:21:37

Have you ever actually met OH?

enriquetheringbearinglizard Thu 20-Feb-14 20:22:36

Surely you've answered your own dilemma?
I don't know if I should end our relationship - I would add, had I have known I would not have gotten involved with them
Read your own words and digest them.

In two years you've never spoken to him on the phone unless he's driving and you don't even know his address and yet you've accepted this?
How could anyone not know this isn't right? hmm

WhoNickedMyName Thu 20-Feb-14 20:32:26

You lost me at the point where you said that despite being in a relationship with him for 2 years you didn't know his address.

Then you say he's a known bigamist.

And you really don't know if you should end the "relationship".


Mum2Fergus Thu 20-Feb-14 20:41:52

OP,how many times have you actually met him?

hickorychicken Thu 20-Feb-14 20:43:18

Im really confused, I think we need a back story Op.

hickorychicken Thu 20-Feb-14 20:43:48

How did you meet him?

Lweji Thu 20-Feb-14 20:46:34

Sorry, but who did what?

hickorychicken Thu 20-Feb-14 20:48:20

So, i am assuming you are in different countries? hmm

Daffodil45 Thu 20-Feb-14 20:52:41

Yes I've met him as we met through work
We live 150 apart but work brings us together
We do get together at weekends, but not very often as has caring responsibilities which take priority( or does he now I'm thinking)
He told me himself about the bigamy as someone else was going to
The more I write things down the more stupid I'm feeling that I've got to this situation.
I'm fiercely independent and feel a complete idiot as my ex cheated and I have remained single for 6 years.
I let my guard down and let this idiot in.

hickorychicken Thu 20-Feb-14 20:57:26

Go with your gut feeling OP if something doesnt feel right it probably isnt thanks

Lavenderhoney Thu 20-Feb-14 20:58:44

Er, he sounds heavily married to me.

Never been to his house? Busy weekends? Was he busy caring over all holidays like Christmas as well?

Has he been to your house or do you meet at hotels?

Who likes you enough to tell him to come clean or they will tell you? I would call them and find out what else he hasn't told you. Or save time and tell him its over.

Lweji Thu 20-Feb-14 21:07:56

Who is bigamous? He has two other wives, or are you married to him?

hickorychicken Fri 21-Feb-14 05:50:18


BitOutOfPractice Fri 21-Feb-14 06:54:32

Oh op. You are the ow (unwittingly). He's obviously married. Just dump him. Sorry

Meerka Fri 21-Feb-14 10:28:24

He is obviously very clever and quite charming, and rather good at explaining things away. But yes .... Dump.

Fairenuff Fri 21-Feb-14 19:21:14

So he is married to two different women at the same time and you are his secret girlfriend on the side?

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