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I am going to be single forever!

(15 Posts)
restless2013 Thu 20-Feb-14 19:13:06

After the latest dating knock back, I am starting to think I am never going to have a happy relationship. I always seem to like the men who don't like me or are arses, and never 'the good guys' who like me.

I am 24, and whilst many will probably say that is still young, everyone I meet who is my age is in a serious relationship. It seems every day, another friend is getting engaged.

I am not desperate, I am ambitious and focused on my career and it is paying off, I have a 5 year old, I work out, I see friends and try not to focus too much on the relationship thing. But it still hasn't happened, I don't meet people. Every man I meet and like is taken or as I said, messes me around.

I work in a field that is almost entirely female dominated. I live in a very small city, borderline large town. Online dating isn't really for me, I wouldn't have the confidence for it. I'd rather meet someone face-to-face, as opposed to speaking online and then potentially being knocked back in a real life situation.

I don't really know what advice I am looking for, but I am starting to feel really down about this situation. I have been happily single in the past but am at the stage where I just want a fulfilling relationship, I want to meet someone who I fancy the arse off and doesn't mess me around. I don't know what to do!

NannyK7H Thu 20-Feb-14 20:14:24

I am in the exact same position! I am also 24 and sick of family telling me I'm 'on the shelf' as a joke!
I am drawn to men who are idiots because it's so much more exciting on the rare occasion they are nice.
Whenever a nice man comes along there isn't the spark!
Spend all my time looking after other people's children (and husbands!!) and feel it is never going to be my turn.
Feel free to PM me for a moan x

123rd Thu 20-Feb-14 21:09:41

C'mon on!!! 24??? No, you cannot think that's it. 24 is still so young. Go out and stop stressing about the future man of your life. Chances are it will happen when you least expect it. Corny I know but I happen to think its true. Seriously 24 is so amazingly young to be thinking about itconfused

superstarheartbreaker Thu 20-Feb-14 21:10:22

Oh gosh...try being 35 and in the same position! I guess I have the bonus that my family have officially given up on me and accepted that I probably will be single forever! Make the most of your youth ladies!

CogitoErgoSometimes Thu 20-Feb-14 21:10:34

Saying 'I am not desperate' doesn't make it true.... hmm

MadeMan Thu 20-Feb-14 21:11:10

You're only 24 years old, there's plenty of time.

EBearhug Thu 20-Feb-14 21:13:36

When I was in my 20s, everyone told me to wait till my 30s, when everyone else would be getting divorced.

I'm in my 40s and still single (and I work in a very male-dominated field.)

Er, this isn't a very helpful post, is it...

PoshPaula Thu 20-Feb-14 21:14:43

I rushed into a marriage because I (subconsciously) of relatives making remarks about me being on the shelf, or words to that effect. I was 22 FFS. Wish I'd waited until I'd got more bloody sense and self confidence.

MadeMan Thu 20-Feb-14 21:17:21

"Er, this isn't a very helpful post, is it..."

Well it's more helpful than this post.

JonSnowKnowsNothing Thu 20-Feb-14 21:19:51

Woah, Cog I'm really surprised at that post... she posted a reasonable question!?

restless2013 Thu 20-Feb-14 21:56:49

I don't know how you'd define 'desperate' but I suppose I don't class myself as the kind of person I imagine as desperate, if that makes sense. Maybe I am.

Nanny it's reassuring to think I am not the only one, and that's exactly how I am with the 'nice' guys, just no spark. I have had 2 lovely guys interested, who I know would have made lovely partners, but I just didn't feel 'it'. The guy I have most recently been messed around by seemed promising - good looking, funny and single... I couldn't believe my luck! But after a few months of texts/ 2 dates I'm realising it's not going anywhere (not due to me not wanting it to.)

EBearHug that's exactly what I envisage happening, people still telling me I'm young and to relax in 10 years!

bouncyboobs Thu 20-Feb-14 22:19:59

You are really young. Some people are married by 24, sure. Hopefully because they met the right person. Give it time - you've got you DC, so no rush there. Someone lovely will come along, or you'll work up the nerve to go find someone.

Don't put up with rubbish and don't go for it if you get red flags, it will probably only end badly.

And try not to compare too much to everyone else, you have to live your own life and accept (and enjoy) things for what they are. Have fun with your kid!

Lavenderhoney Thu 20-Feb-14 22:20:29

Online dating would work for you as you can meet people you wouldn't otherwise. You don't seem to given the set up you have now.

That, or start a new hobby or something. Or get out networking a bit.

Its two things

- your lifestyle doesn't let you meet new people - you can change that
- your bullshit radar isn't working- take it slow and at the first sign of trouble - move on.

SoleSource Thu 20-Feb-14 22:54:38

I got to.. I am 24 and didn't read the rest. Sorry you have years. Enjoy your freedom and get to know yourself.

UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea Thu 20-Feb-14 23:07:51

I wasted most of my 20s in crappy relationships because I was felt somehow a failure for being single.

Don't make my mistake. You sound lovely. smile

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