Staying DRY

[MrsSippie]

This is a continuation of the last thread DRY We are all doing our best to abstain completely from alcohol.

[guggenheim]

Hi,

No nothing special about friday night so no excuse to use it as a night to have a drink!

Glad this thread to is still here.

[randommoniker]

So glad thread has reappeared; would have zero idea of how to create a continuation one. Thank you MrsSippie.

[MrsSippie]

It's the first one I've ever done - dead technicologalistical me

[randommoniker]

Well I, for one, am dead impressed.

BTW sorry you had to pull out of your half marathon. Don't know history of your op, but must be really disappointing. Not being able to do exercise when you are used to doing quite a bit is really hard I find. Loss of all that seratonin.

[MrsSippie]

Thank you. Yes, its' annoying :( however am gradually picking up my running now which is a massive boost. It was horrible when I couldn't run, couldn't drink...arghhh!

[ballroomblitz]

Glad you're still with us talking.

That sounds like fighting spirit guggenheim. Onwards and upwards!!

Favourite tipple? I did flirt with different types of tea, bottle green drinks and Belvoir for the first couple of weeks but now mainly just fizzy water and the odd coffee.

I think I have caught the running bug thanks to sippie and sorcha talking about it! Only managing 4k in a half hour atm but I've only started and not long quit smoking, so don't think it's half bad. I really love it! Giving me a real sense of accomplishment to be doing something active again and for me instead of just the dc.

[MrsSippie]

That's a really good time - I did 3.99K (I know) last night in 28 mins, so you're doing brilliantly. I was going too fast I reckon, now I just relax into it and go as fast (slow) as I feel!

[guggenheim]

hmm.. I used to love running when I was younger.

Tipplewise- proper pomegranate juice with a squeeze of lime or just a cuppa tea.

[randommoniker]

I used to love kick-boxing. Amazing way to transform your body, but sadly my days of having sessions with personal trainers in the gym are long behind me……

Thanks for tipple input everyone. I haven't tried the pomegranate juice thing - most of them are all sugary and horrid, but will try to track down the proper stuff and give it a go. I find the hardest thing is thinking what to order when 'out' (as opposed to in a coffee shop). Diet Coke or fizzy water is the fallback, but don't find myself exactly salivating at the prospect of either….

[MrsSippie]

I also really like making a sort of smoothie (without a fancy smoothie maker!) of natural yoghurt, bananas, juice from oranges or satsumas, blueberries (if I have any) and a bit of honey. Lah-vley

[MrsSippie]

or any random soft fruit really

[randommoniker]

Agree - yummy.

And I use those hand held blenders meant for making baby mush for everything; works a treat

[Sorcha1966]

my favorite is ginger and lemongrass cordial by bottlegreen, made with fizzy water. i love it !

[likeneverbefore]

Hello everyone, please may I join?

I had my last drink on New Year's Eve and planned to join you once I'd made it to 6 weeks.

I'm just back from a week's family holiday so here I am at 7 weeks and one day sober :)

I won't drone on too much about myself, except to explain why I'm here. I've drunk most days for the past 17 years and, with the exception of pregnancy and breatfeeding never practised much restraint.

In recent years I establised that a bottle of wine per evening was my limit and I've drunk that maybe 5 nights out of 7 every week for years.

Anyway, decided enough was enough and quite (with dh, who was also drinking too much). So here I am.

it's been ok so far, but the odd pang when I watched others drinking on holidsy. Proud of myself for managing the holiday without drinking as it's been ok at home but breaking the special occasion = alcohol habit was a new challenge.

Anyway, look forward to hearing from you all :)

[randommoniker]

Welcome likenever! I am a newbie to this thread too, although have been sober for 2 years. Can hardly believe it - feels v. strange that it has been possible.

Know what you mean about special occasions. I find weddings the toughest; always used to be fabulous as one was expected to get ratted so no shame.

BUT - for me at least - life a million times better than it was.

Congratulations on your 7 weeks; the first bit is the hardest IME.

[behindthescentedcandles]

I am still here. Me and hubby have started salsa classes. I havent lost any weight since stopping drinking, but I swesr my face looks younger and a nicer colour. I am also managing well during a really stressful period at work. Well done all :)

[randommoniker]

likenever - am ashamed to say when I managed to stick to a single bottle of wine I was almost proud of myself (as in thought that was relatively restrained). Shows how twisted our thinking can get…..

[likeneverbefore]

Hello random, thank you! Two years is amazing! Can I ask how you knew you were ready to stop and how you found it at the beginning? I so know what you mean about weddings. The one thing that has helped me is advice on here to play the tape forward.

There was a woman on holiday who announced loudly that it was wine o clock. I saw them in the bar during happy hour when we were eating in the restaurant and I did feel jealous. But then I thought how crap she'd be feeling in the morning, having to deal with the kids etc and it did help.

Hello behindthe - that's I've really good sbout salsa, would you recommend it? The one thing i feel I've had going for me is an existing exercise habit and I think that has helped me with the dry thing as I already have an outlet elsewhere if that makessense? really lost weight either (just christmas poundage that would have come off anyway) but have been on a bit of a sugar spree to get me through weekends and our holiday in the early days, need to knock the haribo on the head now though! Did anyone else go on a weird sugar thing? I'm sure I've read somewhere that part of alcohol addiction is an addiction to all the sugsr.

[ballroomblitz]

Hi likenever, I also had my last on NY Eve after falling off the wagon over Christmas. Didn't realise it was seven weeks already as I haven't been counting. Well done on a sober holiday!

3.99k sippie ? So precise, I would be rounding it up if it were me. I'm amazed that you can do that so quickly after all you've been through. I'm taking it easy as every time I've done running I've started hell for leather and wrecked my dodgy, clicky knees after about three runs. I think I have developed a new hobby in making out routes on mapometer.

[MrsSippie]

Haha! It does look silly doesn't it! I was on miles and had set my thingy to three, but ended at 2 and a half which translated as 3.99k!

Had a lovely evening last night wiyhna friend -we went to a workshop all about the science of hearing at our little science centre (sounds a bit dull,but my issues are all hearing related so fascinatingfor me!) We went for a drink after and it was most odd going to a pub! We say outside and there were all these !youngsters drinking and smoking! I felt about 100 and popped off to sainsburys pretty sharpish to buy my cocoa. Phew!

Day off today so a bit of cleaning, spending time with the DC and relaxing.

Happy thoughts to you all!

[randommoniker]

Hello again likenever. Of course fine to ask. I had known in my heart of hearts that I had a problem for ages. But my father was an alcoholic and I knew that the 'solution' was total abstinence which sounded like a pretty shitty idea - so was desperate to try to find another easier way. Tried all sorts of restrictions (only drinking certain things, after a certain time in the evening, certain days of the week etc). Needless to say - to no avail.

In the end, there was a really dreadful and shaming occasion when my mother came over to see the children on a Friday afternoon and found me passed out in bed. I still to this day don't know if I managed to collect the children from school or if she did. It hurts me to type this - I feel such profound shame and disgust at my own behaviour.

The game was well and truly up at that point; my mother had had no idea that I had a problem with alcohol and having been married to an alcoholic she was absolutely horrified to see me in that state. I went to an AA meeting the very next day and immediately identified with what everyone was saying. I spent most of my first meetings blubbing throughout ,and it was very upsetting in one way - but also an immense relief to know that I was among people who totally 'got it' and that there was a solution.

IME alcohol abuse can sneak up on you quite gradually. I barely drank as a young adult, but it just built up over time. For me, the turning point was when I started lying about how much I was drinking and hiding bottles around the house. My husband was worried about my drinking for ages, but any criticism just enraged me (too close to the nail, I guess).

Having had an alcoholic father I never imagined I could end up the same way and I wish I had seen the light earlier. I am now SO grateful to be a sober woman/wife/ mother and count myself as extremely lucky that I didn't lose my family.

I was a very secretive drinker so most of my friends had no idea that I had a real problem. To this day, I haven't said why I am not drinking. Sometimes I worry that that is for bad reasons (pride etc), but it just feels right for me for now to keep it private.

So that is my rather pathetic, shabby story. I hope it helps in some way.

[Sorcha1966]

moniker

I empathize so much with what you have written. I knew I had a problem for ages too, but chose to ignore it. Like you i knew the solution was abstinence but I wasn't ready / couldn't imagine how I would live without alcohol.... bonkers when I look back.

The dreadful anxiety about being 'caught out'; the fear of something going wrong when I was pissed; the pointless futile attempts to 'limit' how much I was drinking... I too regarded a bottle as my limit - so was getting through 70 odd units a week. I know many people are 'worse' but it was escalating and becoming harder to manage...

I have kept the decision private too. Only DH knows. I am ashamed of myself, for not being able drink normally, for not stopping sooner, for so many things I have done, or not done... There are so many incidents that make me cringe inside.

I miss the idea of drinking. I miss the buzz of that first or second drink, but I so so don't miss the rest and I know it NEVER stops at one or two...

[thatswhatimtalkingbout]

hi. checking into the new thread.

[randommoniker]

Thank you Sorcha. It is so lovely to know other people understand.

And I also miss that buzz, but I suppose what I am really missing is how I was many many years ago when I could drink normally. The sad truth ,as we all know, is that it isn't possible to rewind the clock; we are where we are - and where we are is defenceless after the first drink.

I am looking forward to 'getting to know' everyone else on this thread. I am quite new to MN so only just found it - and it looks like such a wonderful, supportive place to be.

[likeneverbefore]

Hi random,

Thanks for sharing your story. I think you've done amazingly well and should feel really proud of yourself.

I can identify with the sense of shame - for me it was worst when putting out the glass recycling box every week. DH could easily drink 2 bottles of wine and I was drinking every night. The box was always so full it had to go out every week without fail. I'm ashamed to admit that sometimes halfway through the week I'd drive to Tesco and empty it there as I was so embarassed about how full it was when it went out.

Can I ask random, how did you find AA and do you still attend? I can SO identify with the cutting down attempts. In January last year I used a hypnotherapy download and managed to keep drinking for Saturdays and Sundays only for about 6 weeks. But it just wasn't sustainable - I got fed up of finding half an hour to listen to the download every day, plus I was still drinking loads at the weekend and basically put myself in a situation where I was coming off alcohol and then bingeing again. The mood swings were awful.

I really identify with what you say about keeping your decision private, too. And really wishing you could be a 'normal' drinker. I don't know how long I want to stay dry for...I know it'll be until at least the summer, but I don't know if I'm going to be dry for good. Wondering if I can be a social drinker only - birthday, christmas and nights out (rare) only. Or am I deluding myself??

My problem was drinking at home, so I'm wondering if I'd be strong enough to set ground rules to only drink a few times a year when out.

But all that is a long way away, I need at least 6 months off booze before I think about it.

Hi sorcha - I know what you mean about missing the first one. That's the one I miss too, funnily enough I don't miss the one I chuck down my throat before I stagger up to bed and attempt to brush my teeth!