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How should I react to this comment?

(15 Posts)
barby06 Wed 19-Feb-14 22:57:55

Hi everyone, I'm new to this forum! just need a little advice on something my boyfriend said yesterday which really irritated me and would like to see other women's take on it.

Ok so I have been in a relationship with this man now for 2 and a half years, he is kind and loyal etc he does have a tendency to comment on other women, however this was more at the start of the relationship.

Yesterday we were talking and I asked him if he knew anyone who had ever done a specific course at college, he said yes and that she once really liked him (this was before we met) and asked him round for sex but he didn't go however he was really tempted because she had an amazing body. This was all put rather blunt and he knew he had went too far as soon as he said it and started rambling but then dug himself a bigger hole.

I am not annoyed at the fact he fancied her, or she fancied him, or that she wanted him round for sex, I am annoyed that he told me in such a blunt fashion. It just seemed so disrespectful to me, it would never cross my mind to say something as blunt as that to my partner to be considerate of their feelings. We often say 'gosh he's hot' or 'wow he's nice!' but I don't like 'yeah I really wanted to have sex with her because she has such a good body'. (put in a much more blunt fashion as you can imagine!)

Thing is, whenever I told him it was inappropriate he kept trying to make out I was jealous and threatened which angered me more, his apology was basically 'I'm sorry you took what I said the wrong way' not 'I'm sorry I said it'.

Did I overract? Is this something couples discuss?

Thanks, Barbs.

KellyHopter Wed 19-Feb-14 23:01:17

"he kept trying to make out I was jealous and threatened"
That was exactly his intention.

He sounds like an insecure prick who wants to keep you on your toes.

Quinteszilla Wed 19-Feb-14 23:02:39

He sounds both immature and insecure.

You asked about something related to education, and he replied about sex. Can he never keep to the point?

Proseccoisnotrah Wed 19-Feb-14 23:03:36

Agree with Kelly. Precisely. There was no need for him to tell you any of that, he just saw an opportunity to tell you about a woman with a great body propositioning him and he ran with it.

Only1scoop Wed 19-Feb-14 23:03:47

Is he really young? Sounds like a really immature conversation to make you jealous.
Bit silly.

barby06 Wed 19-Feb-14 23:07:08

Hi guys, no he is almost 30!, so I expected a little more tact from him! he has said about other women having perfect bodies before and I put it down to him being a 'typical man' if you will, but this just really pissed me the fu*k off haha the fact he doesn't see what is wrong in saying it is what annoys me so much, he thinks I'M being immature by telling him it annoyed me

Quinteszilla Wed 19-Feb-14 23:11:17

No, there is nothing "manly" about this behaviour. He is being juvenile and a bit dim.

randomfemale Wed 19-Feb-14 23:13:21


WorraLiberty Wed 19-Feb-14 23:13:49

He sounds both immature and insecure

I imagine by the time he's 40, he'll be sporting an open necked shirt and a medallion.

innisglas Thu 20-Feb-14 00:07:02

He was very obviously looking to make you jealous. That was the only reason for saying that, how childish

BrunoBrookesDinedAlone Thu 20-Feb-14 00:31:32


Monty27 Thu 20-Feb-14 00:35:59

I don't think he was necessarily trying to make you jealous OP, I think he was just gossiping about that person. Maybe boasting. Whatever he was doing he was being a prick by saying it. And its not necessarily true. confused

deakymom Sun 23-Feb-14 23:22:43

well you could have dogged her a little commented oh she says that to EVERYONE i wouldn't take it personally (she might be really nice but his comment was off)

an ex tried it on with me i asked him if he liked public meetings? he was like confused i pointed out she was a popular girl and he was most likely to have met his friends IN there (in my defence i was 18 no kids and blunt as you like)

find some zingers be prepared next time and if he says you're jealous laugh

Botanicbaby Mon 24-Feb-14 00:04:18

"does have a tendency to comment upon other women"

"been seeing him for 2 and a half years"

If he was doing that at the start of the relationship, and is still making comments like this years later, I'd say he was immature, insecure and a bit of a a twat. How would he react if you responded similarly (wildy steering topic away from what you'd originally asked)?

You should respond to his claims that you're jealous/threatened by laughing. Loudly. And for ages.

StrawberryCheese Mon 24-Feb-14 00:08:55

My ex would say things like this. I actually knew which ones of his female friends he would like to have sex with if given the opportunity. hmm but he was 17 and I am assuming your partner is not. He needs to grow up.

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