Ok so I have found a lot of stuff on the millions of internet forums from new mums explaining that their single/childless friends are pushing them away; but in my case I think it's the other way round. I suppose I am here to ask if anyone experienced this before they had kids?
I visit my friend whenever I can (but this is never enough) and try to include her in things (in advance) whenever possible. I work full time through the week and also have a weekend job to make ends meet so the only time I catch glimpses of the baby is when either he is just about to be put to bed and very grumpy or he is already asleep.
My friend has told me she is very upset that I do not have a bond with her very young baby. I don't know what to do about it. Thing is I am not exactly comfortable with babies and not particularly maternal. Like I look at a baby and it cries. I have an irrational fear that I might drop the baby and therefore I think babies sense this and hate me. Also the sheer fact that when I am not at work the baby is asleep.
My uncomfortableness with babies was well known to my friend, so I don't know why she thought this was going to change when she had one. I love kids, just not so keen on babies.
She has said that I am not being the type of friend she wants and because we are so different now and we are drifting apart due to this. I absolutely don't understand what it is like to be a parent and therefore cannot relate to what she is going through, but surely mums can have friends that not have kids/not overly comfortable with babies? Does it make me a bad friend that I cannot pick her baby up and comfort him?
I am so upset that she is pushing me away like this; like she is concentrating on our differences and basically dooming our long term friendship to failure.
I really need honest solutions/opinions because I am literally lost for ideas on where to go from here.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Childless Friend to a new mum
ChildlessFriend · 18/02/2014 12:52
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.