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The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Wading Through Winter Blues Without The Booze!

(1000 Posts)
Mouseface Mon 17-Feb-14 21:47:04

I'm Mouse, nice to meet YOU. smile

This is a thread for those who want to give up drink completely, or are maybe thinking about doing controlled drinking, or cutting down slowly, it's all up to you. And of course all addictions, so if you are taking drugs of any kind, prescription or otherwise, you're very welcome here too!

You know your limits, you know what is required, it's all in YOUR hands.

Whatever your goal, you'll find unconditional support here. Always. smile

There will be talk of drinking quite often and those who fall off the Bus will post about it, so if that is going to jeopardise your chances of complete sobriety, then maybe the DRY threads would suit you better, as they are complete abstainers, but EVERYONE IS WELCOME HERE smile

There are two sayings that we rather like here -

1) - The Vulnerable Need Our Support, Not Our Judgement

2) - Alcohol Fosters Inertia

For those of you who'd like some history, here is the very first thread and the reason that we're all here now. FIRST EVER THREAD

And the most recent so you can work your way back through time IS JUST HERE

The Bus may be 'mythical', but the support is real, it is honest and it will help you to achieve what it is that YOU seek, as long as you are honest with us, but mostly, YOURSELF

Mouse xxx

SoberSocFish Mon 17-Feb-14 22:12:39

Yay! I'm first. I win!!

guggenheim Mon 17-Feb-14 22:20:08

oooh I'm next!

guggenheim Mon 17-Feb-14 22:24:34

'Lo there soc

why I think that it's really sensible and realistic of you to acknowledge how tough it's all been and that WHEN you get your baby back you will have a lot to process.That's a healthy reaction.I'm sure that you are totally fed up with waiting and having other people in control,I hope that your ordeal will be over soon. Thinking of you.

Enjoying half term faire?

lookingforhope Mon 17-Feb-14 23:05:29

Bagging window seat. Yay, never been on first page before. See you in the morning babes x

whydidthishappen Mon 17-Feb-14 23:14:18

Actually guggs it makes me nervous to think of being back in control. Any confidence I might have had in myself as a parent has been eroded.

dementedma Mon 17-Feb-14 23:17:20

Hurls self onto bus to bag a seat. Late night in work so off to bed.

Mouseface Mon 17-Feb-14 23:23:33

Why - Please don't go there, you must not think that way, you are an amazing mum and together, we, the Babes can get through you getting your DC back one day at a time. I promise.

You were never to blame. Never. Stay strong sweetie, please? xxx

Night all xxx

Fairenuff Tue 18-Feb-14 00:07:05

Thanks for the new thread Mouse, great title thanks

I didn't realise the other one was filling up so fast! Good job you spotted it and dived in like a superhero grin

why I was thinking PTSD but didn't want to say it because I know it's annoying when people try to diagnose without being qualified. But it has been a terribly stressful experience for you and one that you will learn to live with maybe, rather than come to terms with. Have some thanks too, you need some tlc.

One thing I hope you can see though, is what a fantastic mother you are. If you're not so sure, read back through some of your posts. You have been a rock for that boy of yours and he is so lucky to have you in his corner x

guggs I am enjoying the lie ins, which is why I'm up late. Just because I can... grin

Actually I had to pick dd up from a party just now and she's gone on up to bed but I'm just having a coffee and a catch up.

whydidthishappen Tue 18-Feb-14 00:40:37

Do you mean I will have to live with this situation rather than get my DS back?

SoberSocFish Tue 18-Feb-14 00:44:39

why you really shouldn't doubt yourself. You are incredibly strong and resourceful. There are many of us who would never have gotten through what you have. You need to focus on how incredible you are to have survived this and done so well. Every single time they kick you, you just get back up fighting. It's been amazing and inspiring. If you can get through this (and you have) you will get through anything. Be nice to yourself. You absolutely deserve it.

Fairenuff Tue 18-Feb-14 00:49:45

No, my lovely, you will get your ds back if there is any justice in this world.

I mean that the trauma that has been caused will always be a part of you, part of the tapestry of your life. The experiences you have been through will shape the person you will become.

You may come out of this stronger, you may become more susceptible to self-doubt, you may find that you can support others, having been there yourself. Whatever happens, you may not 'get over' it as such but you will live with it, if that makes sense?

You truly are inspiring. Those dreams sound so horrible and realistic but is your brain trying to process everything that has happened to you. It's good really but you do need counselling to help you manage it.

whydidthishappen Tue 18-Feb-14 00:59:44

Oh right. Yes, I think that it isn't something I need to get over necessarily as it is something to learn from and be aware of. It is very hard to keep going to counseling about it. I find the sessions traumatic and cry and scream when asked about the situation in the setting and fly into fits of rageful tears. It is the second diagnoses of PTSD from the second psychologist. My lawyer has me in private counseling so that my medical condition can be kept from the court unless they subpoena my psychologist (unlikely at this point right now).

I couldn't have made it through this without this wonderful mythical bus and its very real and wonderful brave babes. xox

spanna41 Tue 18-Feb-14 01:21:31

<Shuffles into the sidecar with bag of opal fruits, blanket and hot chocolate> Hello Brave Babes. I've been drinking daily sad mainly to numb what's been going on around me and in order to be able to cope. Sounds pathetic when I type it....
Good news is my contracts exchanged on the sale of my house today, this is a relief smile but then sends me into a blind panic about raising money in time to buy the flat that I want hmm I have been the Ebay Queen without as much success as I'd hoped, so need to keep going, sell, sell, sell, panic, panic, panic. Really is no good for my nerves.
Not impressed with my drinking and I am using it as a 'prop' to get me through the next few weeks (funeral next tuesday). I really need a kick up the arse. I need to be clear headed to get this move sorted. I think I need a few slaps from Barrie.
Sorry not to NC, just wanted you all to know that I couldn't have got through the last few weeks, let alone done dry Jan without you bunch of Babes. I thank you for that xxxx

guggenheim Tue 18-Feb-14 07:45:22

Morning babes

spanna sounds like the ww really got to you- I can understand that. How about making today day 1? Even if you just have day 1 smile

why therapy is bloody painful,no two ways about it.When you get your little boy back you will have to take it very slowly but don't forget that amazing thing our bodies do when we hold our children which is to release oxytocin (or whatever the hormone is). Yes,you will need to rebuild your attachment but the reward of holding and touching will set that process off immediately. You don't have to do anything but being and talking will be enough.

And the mythical bus will be there for that too because you can't get rid of us now

'Lo there ma and faire and mouse

Suicidal5833 Tue 18-Feb-14 08:32:22

Really struggling this morning dying to smoke I also argued with dh for it. But I haven't given in yet.

whydidthishappen Tue 18-Feb-14 08:38:45

Good for you 5833. Get a massive bag of Halls as well or something. I ate them by the sack load.

anyonecangrowspinach Tue 18-Feb-14 09:41:04

Morning bads. A difficult day today, may need some moral support.

DH is working away today, not back til tomorrow. This would usually mean I'd splurge (let's face it, binge) on wine as there's no-one here that it would hurt or worry. Apart from me!

It doesn't matter how many units I've done already or what time of the month it is for the purposes of TTC, it's a bad habit and it's got to stop. So I'm not drinking tonight. But man, it's going to be tough. All my bad instincts are saying 'Go for it, it's a golden opportunity!' But it's secret drinking on my own, and that's addictive behaviour and terrible for my self-esteem.

Will have to stock up on trash TV.

whydidthishappen Tue 18-Feb-14 09:48:31

Get a movie that DH wouldnt normally like but you would and maybe order some food youd like but your DH doesnt eat. That way it feels like a treat rather than a challenge.

Cheapo face pack and sweatpants. Aaaaahhh bliss.

Whatever you decide, make a plan early. You're doing great!

whydidthishappen Tue 18-Feb-14 09:48:40

Get a movie that DH wouldnt normally like but you would and maybe order some food youd like but your DH doesnt eat. That way it feels like a treat rather than a challenge.

Cheapo face pack and sweatpants. Aaaaahhh bliss.

Whatever you decide, make a plan early. You're doing great!

anyonecangrowspinach Tue 18-Feb-14 10:21:01

Thanks for the tips, why. There's a certain TV show which DH scorns a bit (it's cheesy but I love it) - there's a whole box-set of it on On Demand. I'll download a bit of that.

Facepack is a great idea!

I am still trying to decide about food. DH, bless him, loves all food. But I might get something a bit treat-y. Ordering in is a great idea. It avoids the kitchen, which is the Witch Danger Zone. It also means I don't need to go to the shops, so I'm not tempted into the Witch Aisle.

Maybe Chinese . . .

guggenheim Tue 18-Feb-14 10:33:26

Don't forget to post here when you get to the tricky times in the day/evening. Most cravings last about 10-20 mins so if you can just get past that then you'll be fine.

venusandmars Tue 18-Feb-14 11:03:32

I know it's been a long absence (very sick (nothng serious), then away on lovely holiday) but I'm still here. xxx to all.

Fairenuff Tue 18-Feb-14 11:12:34

spanna so sorry to hear that you've been through the wringer. It sounds like the ww has got you in her vortex. If we all hold hands we can make a chain and pull you out...

spinach Gets lots of alternative drinks in too, fizzy cola if you like it, lime & soda, elderflower, fruit juices. Get a bit bag of ice to fill you glass, it makes the drink more 'treaty'. And a slice of lemon too.

Get into your pjs early so that it would be a hassle to go out and, above all, tell yourself it's just one day. You can do it spinach!

Oh, and have a big bar of chocolate too smile

sui same advice to you too. It really helps to plan your time so that you're not there twiddling your thumbs and being tormented. We call her the wine witch (ww) but she could just as easily be the weed witch.

Stick with us and we'll get through this day x

Fairenuff Tue 18-Feb-14 11:13:34

Lovely to hear from you venus, hope you had a good holiday? Did you go somewhere where it wasn't raining?

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