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is a text message enough? MIL related

(12 Posts)
mrhumphreylikesme Mon 17-Feb-14 17:59:34

MIL sent DH a text the other day to say happy birthday but hasn't actually phoned him. I am horrified and think it is totally mean and rude. DH is upset and confused as to whether is it except able or not. She shows little interest in DH and us and blatantly prefers his sister (who she was visiting on dh's birthday), but I never expected her to stoop this low. Or am I expecting too much and a text is ok?

starsandunicorns Mon 17-Feb-14 18:03:49

Dp has this very little contact we are exculled from invites so we broke contact after he flipped his lid over something just be there for him does your parents send a xard or something to him

Pippilangstrompe Mon 17-Feb-14 18:14:04

To me a text would be fine. It wouldn't bother me at all that there was no phonecall. Families are very different and some just don't do contact in a big way.

MommyBird Mon 17-Feb-14 18:33:26

A text seems fine to me.

However im betting there is a back story!

TheSumofUs Mon 17-Feb-14 18:54:04

Seems that the issue is perhaps not the text per se, which should be fine -but rather the fact that mother spent day with sister and has shown favoritism

Sortyourmakeupout Mon 17-Feb-14 18:57:39

I couldnt imagine not calling one of my children on their birthday.

mrhumphreylikesme Mon 17-Feb-14 19:00:19

Thanks for replies. I still don't think a text is right on your child's birthday, but that is me. MIL is normally a stickler for doing the right thing and i suppose i am surprised. I am definitely swayed by her blatant favouritism for SIL but i suppose that is another thread. I am genuinely interested in everybody's views on the text thing.

DIYapprentice Mon 17-Feb-14 19:03:15

First, would she be happy with a text from your DH on her birthday, and would she ever only send your SIL a text for her birthday?

If either of those are answered 'no', then the answer to your question is also - no, it's not good enough.

mrhumphreylikesme Mon 17-Feb-14 19:07:49

Well put DIY. And the answer to both of those is no. So why does she think she can do this to dh? He does nothing but try to please her and wouldn't dare do anything that may upset her.

JustSpeakSense Mon 17-Feb-14 19:11:56

No, I don't think just a text is enough!

In the future though....I would just send her a text on her birthday.

tobethatis Mon 17-Feb-14 19:37:12

if he was a child then no a text is too small a gesture but if the guy in question is a grown man with a family of his own a text message is fine. as for the sister thing we all know relationships between male/ female are different. they have a different essence to them because of ... gender basically ... why sweat it enjoy your own life! and your DH birthday .... sounds tad petty tbh

RedFocus Mon 17-Feb-14 19:44:41

I think a text is fine. My dad sends me a text and I send him one and it suits us fine. He speaks to my brothers on their birthday but then he actually has things in common with them while we always struggle for things to say.
My mum will always ring me and I'll ring her unless we are taking her out for a birthday meal.

All families are different and if she was busy then she may not have had time for a chat. Maybe she didn't want to disturb you from your plans.
Maybe she just couldn't be arsed and tbh you will only know if your husband asks her.

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