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dont know what to do

(4 Posts)
nugget05 Mon 17-Feb-14 14:20:56

ExP left me at the beginning of January after a string of arguments (mostly about family) it finally came to a head when I listened to my instincts and checked his fb, he'd been having an ea for god knows how long and made plans to see the woman on new years. He had met her when we separated may last year (he never had any money or time) we started to sort through our issues in july I knew about 1 woman he met when we were apart as I saw a text from her and asked, he claims they just chatted and deleted her number without me asking him to. I chose to trust and believe him and didn't think anymore about it, I fell pregnant in august after a very drunk night. Anyway fast forward 5 months and I was barely seeing him ('working') he got another phone, justified it as the other was a work no when I said its a bit shady when combined with the lack of contact but was made to feel like my hormones where making me suspicious. When confronted about the 'ow' he got angry that I had been on his fb and tried to downplay it but then after he realised I wasn't falling for it pretty much admitted to having an ea but nothing physical ever, claiming the reason why was because id changed since being pregnant and didn't make him feel included and didn't make any effort to make him happy! Argued for a couple weeks but near the end of January I asked him to help out with money to buy things for the baby and he refused saying we'll talk when hes born and haven't heard from him since, fine by me ive got enough going on without his drama. this weekend hes emailed me asking why ive cut him off and saying he wants to see me and help out, wont answer when I ask why he wants to see me and why the sudden change of heart. Part of me wants to see him to see what he wants but I don't think im in the right place emotionally and if he tried to talk me round as much as I know what happened and the whys id still struggle not to believe his bs in person but then he says he wants to know how the baby is and I feel guilty that hes not involved.
Sorry its so long, I just needed to write it down and get some outside opinions and perspective

pinkfluffypoodleface Mon 17-Feb-14 14:35:50

If he's not contributing financially or having consistent & supportive contact with you, then don't feel guilty about not involving him.

nugget05 Mon 17-Feb-14 15:11:14

I know and if this was anyone else I know exactly what advice id give them but for some reason I cant take my own advice, think I need someone to slap some sense into me

pinkpaws Mon 17-Feb-14 15:34:07

Hi if your ready to see him then just tell him that . If he refused to help out with money in the past and wanted to wait till your child was born then you have every right to take things at your pace. You need to think if this man is good or you or will bring something positive to it. That said he may have come to his senses and realized he wants and needs to be part of his childs life. But being part of yours is something you both have to be ready for. In short make him WAIT.

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