There is a thread about someone saying they shout at their partner, who in return withdraws and avoids spending time with that person.
It seems that half of the responders to the post are saying shouting is abusive and should be treated as such, and the other half of responders seem to say that shouting clears the air and is healthy, but wanting to be distant from the shouter is a form of control or emotional abuse.
So it got me wondering how people deal with their feelings about a person who has yelled awful things at them, and then retracted it all in an apology later. Or maybe not shouted but belittled or devalued in some way.
I believe in forgiving people but does anyone feel defensive and distant from a serial 'shouter-and-apologiser' to the point that you want to spend some time away from them for whatever reason. Maybe to recover or get your head around what was said, and brace yourself for round two should it happen again.
It it false to pretend you feel ok but deal with it inwardly, so you don't create an atmosphere, or is it better to be honest and avoid the person until you genuinely want to be around them again. If you feel hurt and defensive do you really want to kiss someone who says sorry and reaches out for a kiss?
When does it cross the line into trying to punish the person who hurt you?
I'm interested in how people get over such arguments in an honest and healthy way.
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How do you close on an argument?
21 replies
laughingeyes2013 · 17/02/2014 12:11
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