I'm in love with an alcoholic

[Starsrbrite41]

I've been seeing this fella since end of July 2013
Met on a drunken nite I was more drunk than him had kiss n cuddle at my mates week later he's asks for my number texts me and ask me would I like to go for a drink I go. Have good time yes go back to his yes have sex
I seen him ever week 4 times or less depending on his work and mine says from third fourth date he doesn't do girlfriends which at time seems cool to me until I become hooked omg he always 99 % of time texts me which is fine but when I text him most of time he don't answer or drunk or sleeping or busy or whatever
I feel with dime if the comments he has made he never got over his ex he text me 1 nite said something which I thought was inappropriate I said to him it was then I said hope u get back with ur ex all the best
My mate just said to me tonite that 3 weeks ago he ask for a girls number
I been with him Friday nite 14 and the Friday nite before he text me the week before that but I didn't go and see him he told me in Friday nite that he loved me so much
Can some please advice me thanks

[Starsrbrite41]

Any advice
Thsnks

[dyslexicdespot]

Run for the hills!

[Starsrbrite41]

Really cause he drinks
I don't know what my prob is it's like I'm addicted to him if thsts makes any since can't seem to let go of him

[tribpot]

Well you might want to consider whether a raging alcoholic really means everything that he says

You seem very easily persuaded that if he says he loves you then it must be true. You're not 14 (I hope). The guy probably has no memory of what he said a few weeks ago.

You can let go of him. Just do it. And then stick to it, one day at a time. You cannot have a meaningful relationship with an addict, save yourself a shit load of trouble and get out now.

[ihatethecold]

You need to stop writing threads in text speak.
It's not easy to read.

I would also add that this relationship won't end well.
Finish it before you get hurt

[Starsrbrite41]

He remembers everything sometimes chooses what he remembers.
Said to me in Friday nite we needed to talk so on Saturday morning I said he said it didn't matter he's doing my head in hot and cold told my mate I was full on when he's the one that was doing all the texting
The only thing i ask him was 4 weeks ago where I/we stood then he was at a party then ask my mates sister for her sisters number

[cloud23]

Run. There is nothing but misery ahead for you if you get involved.

[Starsrbrite41]

Sorry I hate the cold

[justmuddlingalongsomehow]

GET OUT NOW. YES - I AM SHOUTING!!

[Finola1step]

Sorry. Finding it very difficult to read your post. From what I can make out, it sounds like this man is quite simply messing you around. And you are letting him because you are caught up in the drama if it all. Run.

[Starsrbrite41]

Is there any counselling on this website

[Starsrbrite41]

I love him
I am finding it very hard

[ihatethecold]

Can I ask?
How old are you?

Feel free to not answer.

[dyslexicdespot]

Your relationship with this man will never get any better. If you are unhappy with his behaviour, leave him. You will not change him. He will not change for you. Seriously, run for the hills!

[horsetowater]

If he deliberately chooses to remember certain things it's quite likely that he is deliberately choosing to confuse you. There are some men out there that you probably haven't had the misfortune to meet until now, that can only relate to another woman if they have control of the relationship.

Confusing you is a way for him to retain control. It's also called gaslighting. He will have deliberately chosen to get you 'addicted' and it's a form of grooming to get you to feel you need him and you can't leave him. I'm very glad you came to Mumsnet right now. There are a lot of people on here that can tease this out for you and help you make sense of it.

How much does he drink - is it a first thing in the morning habit?

[horsetowater]

When i said 'tease' I meant untangle. :)

[Starsrbrite41]

I try go get out but as soon as he texts me I straight back to reset button
I do love him he drinks and has some good points but still selfish when it comes to others things I'm not a selfish person and sometimes find it difficult when he's like this

[littleballerina]

Do you have children?

[Starsrbrite41]

Ihatethecold
I'm 41 yes probably should know better

[AttilaTheMeerkat]

What do you get out of this relationship now?.

Do you have rescuer or saviour tendencies because this is a complete and utter recipe for disaster. I do not think you know what love actually is because this is in no way a healthy or stable relationship.

This is only going to end badly for you, it really is.

[AttilaTheMeerkat]

And yes you are old enough to know better.

[Bigbrassband]

Are you also a drinker, or do you smoke weed?
These things won't help you see clearly, you know.

[Starsrbrite41]

Yes I have 3 one an adult 2 under 16
Horsetowater
I have only seen him drink once in morning when I was there that was about 11,45 am
He works shifts but will go to his ex partner when he finishes in morning could be st 9 30 to drink till 2/3 pm till he's is in on nightshift

[Starsrbrite41]

His ex partners brother and dad

[Starsrbrite41]

No don't do drugs never have can have a couple of drinks don't need to drink everyday