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What is social sabotage?

(6 Posts)
FaceDirectionOfTravel Sun 16-Feb-14 14:53:09

I am just interested in the dynamics of abusive relationships and can't figure out what this means. Is it criticising someone when you are out with mates (so doing it in front of them), or spreading lies about them behind their back and sabotaging their social lives that way? Thanks.

TemperamentalAroundCorvids Sun 16-Feb-14 15:03:15

Anything that sabotages someone's social life, I suppose. Isolating them by moving away from friends, throwing a strop if the other person wants to go out, telling someone their friends have said things about them, being an arse to someone's friends - you think of it, and some nasty piece of work has done it to someone, somewhere.

Sometimes it can be in the guise of so-called caring: for instance my Ex used to suggest I should not be pursuing my voluntary work on mental health inclusion. Funny that all my mh problems cleared up when I filed for divorce...

You could check out the top post of the EA support thread, where there are many useful links.

FaceDirectionOfTravel Sun 16-Feb-14 15:12:29

Okay, thanks. I just wondered if this was a sort of 'technical' term, like gaslighting, where it means something specific.

Am not gathering tips in order to abuse someone, BTW, just in case it sounds like I am. hmm. (gallows humour)

TemperamentalAroundCorvids Sun 16-Feb-14 15:16:51

I guess here the point is the outcome (sabotaged) rather than the way they go about it.

Are you OK?

FaceDirectionOfTravel Sun 16-Feb-14 15:25:46

I really am OK, sorry, should have made that clear! grin My dad is a prick and my mum is still recovering from it, but I'm so over that. I've just been supporting someone by email who has escaped an abusive relationship, and I think one of my male friends might be in a somewhat abusive marriage.

Thanks to MN and my history I am primed to see the abusive dynamic in all sorts of situations. So I'm interested in it personally and find the 'logic' of abuse appallingly fascinating. I came across the social sabotage term on a website and then couldn't quite figure out what it meant. That's all. Thank you.

And I'm very glad you are out, well done. thanks

TemperamentalAroundCorvids Sun 16-Feb-14 19:01:55

Support and validation from someone who understands is a godsend, and hard to come by in cases of EA, where it must be 'six of one, half a dozen of the other' in some people's eyes. So here's some thanks for you too.

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