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Restrictive 'mum and dad time, ahem' as kids get older?

(9 Posts)
MamOfSteel Sun 16-Feb-14 14:40:03

Always had a very active sex life with DH, my eldest is coming up to 10 and we have a few more kids not far behind in age and I'm wondering if anyone else is struggling with having sex with more 'aware' kids in the house?

Obviously its usually bedtime that we get it together, but my kids stay awake quite late despite being put to bed at 7:30/8pm, and I find it hard to stay awake late.

I'm struggling because we've always been quite adventurous and now I just feel paranoid and can't relax that someone will walk in etc, so we can't do the things we would normally do.

A few weeks ago we stayed downstairs and were sure the kids were asleep, then after wards we heard them running about and we had been quite vocal.

I guess I just want reassurances I'm not going to scar them for life?!?

Showy Sun 16-Feb-14 14:46:12

My parents never had sex so have no personal experience.

But MIL and FIL are very happy and in love and I've heard them at it more than once late at night. I did ask DH if this was normal and he shrugged and said 'yeah, you just turn the telly up or go out'. He said they never flaunted it, but as he grew older, he was just quietly aware of their relationship still being very active and happy. He says it actually made him feel secure to know they were still so much in love. When we first met, DH was 17 and his siblings between 9 and 14. MIL and FIL used to say very pointedly at about 9pm "we're off to bed, you know BED, can you all go in the other family room so you're not under our room, NOW please. Night night, brush your teeth, bed by 10pm, sleep tight, bed bugs etc". It was just normal.

Showy Sun 16-Feb-14 14:47:24

Oh they had a rule too about bedroom doors. For all the family. If your door is shut, you are not available. If necessary you knock and wait for a response. You do not enter. They respected this rule with their teens and they in turn, knew not to wander into their parents' room.

MamOfSteel Sun 16-Feb-14 14:53:56

We are quite lovey dovey, DH says he never saw his parents kiss or hug and mine were the same. But we are very cuddly, kissy, cheeky bum pinch, giggly kind of thing and they are very used to seeing us like that, which I think is nice. The rule about bedroom doors thing is good but they are at the age where they just barge about without too many thoughs about rules!

Joysmum Sun 16-Feb-14 15:59:45

Yes it's more fifficult as they get older, they stay up later and after sex ed at school, everything is about sex to them!

DH and I have the shut door rule too but we also have a lock on the door. You could put an unobtrusive hook and eye type thing across the top of the door where it won't be noticed. We also made a point of having music playing in our room, even when the door isn't shut so our DD sees this as normal. We've been far more relaxed since then

WaitingForMe Sun 16-Feb-14 16:29:34

I'm not scarred from hearing my parents.

DH was somewhat scarred by his frigid mother. How does he know she's frigid? She told him shock

Shallishanti Sun 16-Feb-14 16:33:28

it will get worse I'm afraid as dcs get older and go to bed even later
a bolt on the door is the only solution

FrysChocolateCream Sun 16-Feb-14 16:33:37

Not sure about the lateness of the evening thing but surely you can put a lock on your bedroom door?

RiffyWammal Sun 16-Feb-14 17:48:07

Get a lock on your door! It was so liberating when we finally got one on ours. smile

Failing that, what we used to do was push one of those rubber door wedges firmly under the door when it's closed as no-one can push it open from the other side then.

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