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Baggage reclaim assclown

(102 Posts)
Justjump Sat 15-Feb-14 23:05:47

A mess of a situation and I've acted badly.
Had an ea rel and never fully moved on despite good advice here, counselling, reading up, hypnotism, weeks on end of Nc- after breaking up we never really broke up, despite the fact he's now with someone else.
Anyway, I guess it's the classic situation that everyone and anyone on the outside of can see straight through but I'm in the fog of it. He says he is obsessed sexually, has me on his mind all the time and we must be out of contact again for a while and etc. The control was often in this sort of push me pull you thing. You'd have thought I'd have had a reality check often enough but apparently not. However big and busy I make my life I always miss him and however much I feel it's safe to go back into contact, it always gets in a mess. Now I need to walk and never look back. it's not as if I haven't done enough reading and soul searching, self flagellation, etc so what now?

Locd35 Sat 22-Feb-14 18:33:40

Hi Just. It's not easy to get yourself completely out of such a relationship. Most important thing is to put you first which is must easier said than done. It's hardly ever a sudden thing. I think you take steps. I found Getting Past Your Breakup by Susan J Elliott really helpful after preparing mysel with Baggage Reclaim. It involves work but if you really want to be free I think you'll take the time to do it. Best of luck; it is possible for you to get out of it xx

Justjump Sun 23-Feb-14 19:43:18

Was hoping to let thread die as suggested so I don't obsess, seek attention, etc but bogroll and distance's spat then all the lesbian things seem to have brought it back to life. Thanks all for the helpful comments. I will get there, but it's a bit up and down as now all the anger is coming back and that's not good for me- I mean it's good for the Nc, it's not good for me inside though.

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