Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

scared that I've made a mistake.

(9 Posts)
Sourpickles Fri 14-Feb-14 19:34:36

Im dealing with a mikd depression and alot of anxiety.

My husband just cannot understand it.

All we've done since we got married is bicker and fight and im so sad. I'm scared ive made a mistake marrying him.

Ebayaholic Fri 14-Feb-14 19:43:46

Did you have the MH issues before you got married too? How did he deal with those? What has changed since? (Sorry for questions, need a bit more info)

JeanSeberg Fri 14-Feb-14 19:43:56

Sorry to read this.

How long have you been married and how long odd you know each other beforehand?

Sourpickles Fri 14-Feb-14 19:57:12

Together for 6, married less than 6 mo. one toddler. ..

Mh issues have been the majority of last year, but it took two big meltdowns to get dh to try harder to understand. He thinks I should be better now because the main stress in my life has been resolved.

Ever since we wed, its been constant bickering. Taking out our stresses on each other. I'm tired and angry because it shouldn't be like this.

Ebayaholic Fri 14-Feb-14 20:01:39

Have you sought medical help? Could it be post-natal depression?

If he doesn't really understand MH issues, it all becomes an uphill battle. What would you like to change about your life?

CogitoErgoSometimes Sat 15-Feb-14 06:25:44

Depression, if you've never experienced it personally, is a very alien thing and extremely difficult to live with. Being on the receiving end of a 'meltdown' is damn scary. Someone without depression experiences stress and unhappiness but then recovers once the stress recedes. It is almost impossible for someone without depression to understand why the unhappiness sticks around when there are no obvious reasons for it.

Does your DH accompany you to doctor's appointments or therapy sessions?

livingzuid Sat 15-Feb-14 06:38:43

Having a toddler is also extremely hard work. Depression is miserable. Are you a SAHM or do you both work?

Lweji Sat 15-Feb-14 06:46:06

I think it might be a good idea for both of you to talk to your doctor.

He may feel frustrated because he can't really fix it, he mostly needs to be understanding and accepting and that can be really difficult.

However, you should also make an effort to get better and to explain to him how you are feeling so that he knows what is going on with you.

StrugglingNow Sat 15-Feb-14 09:50:46

I don't think people can understand depression or anxiety very easily if they have not experienced it before. No matter how much you try to explain it. Try and direct your hubby to online resources and see if it helps, and if it doesn't, get help from people in real life or even online who have been where you are.

It's also very difficult to live with because all you see is your partner dramatically changing.

I think really you need to help yourself and don't be offended or upset if people don't understand too well.

Please follow the advice and see the doctor. Start counselling. Do small things to make yourself feel better (walk for 30 minutes a day, force yourself to see friends, eat very well, try medication, get 8 hours sleep).

You will be surprised how maintaining this will make you feel better.

Please don't try and evaluate the state of your marriage when depressed or anxious. It clouds your thinking much more significantly than you realise. Get healthy, THEN think about that.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: