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Attachment style and how it effects relationships, any good books?

(12 Posts)
positively9something Thu 13-Feb-14 18:07:27

I'm interested in attachment styles and how it affects me in relationships.

I've recently realised although I want to be close to someone due to my upbringing etc where my family were not very close I have intimacy issues (no problem with sex) just a problem with getting close and being honest etc.

I thought a good book would maybe help me understand more and possible manage it better.

I've had a look on amazon and saw a book called attached and a few others.

Just wondering if anyone could recommend a book that's might be useful?

Menssanaincorporesano Thu 13-Feb-14 18:52:40

Yes- "Attached: the new science of adult attachment". I got so much from this book.

positively9something Thu 13-Feb-14 19:26:46

Oh I had looked at that one but I was also looking at this one:

Attached: Identify your attachment style and find your perfect match
Amir Levine, Rachel Heller

akawisey Thu 13-Feb-14 20:00:26

If you want a more theoretical book there's an excellent one called Raising Parents by Patricia Crittenden.

BetterWithCheese Thu 13-Feb-14 20:05:08

Those first two books are by the same authors. Are they actually different editions/versions of same book?

DangerRabbit Thu 13-Feb-14 20:05:51

Inside I'm hurting by Louise Bomber

Marking place smile

Parsley1234 Thu 13-Feb-14 21:39:03

Attached really good also infant losses adult searches around sex addiction but can be read with an open mind it is an amazing book

KittyOSullivanKrauss Thu 13-Feb-14 21:46:51

The original volumes by Bowlby (Attachment, Separation and Loss) are wonderful. There are lots of books on attachment and I'd bet lots of money that many authors haven't read these volumes. There are very academic though, and I'm a bit of a purist.

Try Jeremy Holmes. Either John Bowlby and Attachment Theory or the Search for the Secure Base.

Attachment 'style' is a term based more in the social psychology tradition (i.e. looking at romantic love). This isn't the same construct as attachment patterns from the developmental tradition (i.e. childhood experiences influencing later relationships), but the terms have all been mushed together a bit over the years so it is confusing. Excuse the pedantry!

Hope you find something helpful.

EirikurNoromaour Thu 13-Feb-14 21:52:10

David Howe, "attachment across the life course" is academic but fairly accessible.

positively9something Sun 16-Feb-14 11:55:32

Thank you all for the recommendations, I will look into them grin

nerofiend Mon 17-Feb-14 19:52:41

Agree with previous posters. John Bowlby was the father of attachment theory and most of his books explain attachment styles and their effects in later life.

A secure base is a good one and is Child care and the growth of love.

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