Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Stuck!!

(10 Posts)
sals79 Wed 12-Feb-14 09:54:50

I'm newly separated (not married) and now a single Mum with two children aged 4 and 7.
Although no longer in a relationship the children's father is refusing to move out and is making things difficult which is affecting the children and affecting my health. We have a mortgage and he wants to sell the house but the children and i don't want this.
I feel stuck as can't get any help financially until he moves out. I'm not currently working although willing to, feel stuck and like banging my head against a brick wall!! Has anyone got any ideas? Thanks.

CogitoErgoSometimes Wed 12-Feb-14 10:03:32

You can potentially get help financially if you can adequately demonstrate that you are not living as a couple. However, being pragmatic, it may be that selling the property, splitting the proceeds and everyone starting fresh would be a better solution. Have you taken legal advice?

Rockchick1984 Wed 12-Feb-14 10:14:04

How would you afford the mortgage if he moves out?

sals79 Wed 12-Feb-14 10:55:59

The reason I'm unhappy about selling the house is, we have a lot of equity which is part of my inheritance and i would then have to spend this on renting. Also the house was my Grandparents and i have some very special memories here! I was hoping to go onto 'Interest only' payments for the time being until i was employed and in a better financial situation.

CogitoErgoSometimes Wed 12-Feb-14 11:04:15

If the house belonged to your grandparents and you inherited it is his name actually on the deeds or is it technically your house? Because, as you aren't married, there is no automatic assumption of shared ownership even if he has paid towards the mortgage. It's why I asked about legal advice.

sals79 Wed 12-Feb-14 11:13:00

Sorry i inherited some money from my Mother which i put into the house as did his parents. We own the house jointly. I have sought advice from The CAB but since this he has decided he's not going nowhere! I need to seek advice from a solicitor but it is very costly. (sad) sad

MillyBlodyn Wed 12-Feb-14 11:15:57

Whose idea was it to split up, why, and how long ago.

CogitoErgoSometimes Wed 12-Feb-14 11:21:22

OK then it's a shared property. Do you have any record of the amount of money you each initially invested in the property? Was this recently? The choices in front of you are broadly to buy him out or sell up. If you are unemployed and relying on him to pay the mortgage then, without his cooperation, you are going to get nowhere. You can't afford to buy out his share. Even interest only is problematic because you won't be able to remortgage in your sole name without adequate proof of income. I know solicitors can be expensive but it could well be worth the investment to get your options clearly laid out.

sals79 Wed 12-Feb-14 11:30:13

We haven't been getting on for many years, we've tried Relationship counselling. I was willing to try anything but he wasn't interested. I had no love or affection and the kids didn't receive much either from him. We split up at the beginning of December. Yes i have got a record of money invested into house. I'm in no position to buy him out. Yes I'm thinking solicitors maybe only option unless he is suddenly willing to wait 12yrs until he can get his hands on his money!

CogitoErgoSometimes Wed 12-Feb-14 11:37:23

And I think you have to get your head around the fact that Granny's house may have to be sacrificed if you're to move on with your life. I'm sure she wouldn't have wanted you to stay trapped and miserable for the sake of a few memories and bricks.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now