Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.
I did this before but let's do it again today(167 Posts)
Things you have done or achieved since a break up to inspire anyone in a painful place.
Went on holiday abroad with just my dc,
Danced on a beach till dawn in Ibiza.
Lost three stone.
Had long dark hair cut into a blonde bob.
Had a lot of sex.
Reconnected with or made loads of lovely friends.
Drank beef in the bath.
Had weetabix for tea.
Went to lots of festivals with or without dc.
Laughed and laughed.
Traded in the family saloon for a golf convertible.
Got much closer to my children.
I could go on.
Share your stories to help others see there is life after heartbreak.
LOTS of fantastic sex with much younger sexier nicer
started a degree
went to glastonbury and had a ONS with a circus performer
decorated my lovely house
morning snuggles with my kids
girly holiday in NY with my best mate and had a 3'some
Developed a social life!!
Ha! Great sex features highly!!
This is such a great uplifting thread - glad it's been brought back to life & sent to a very dear friend who's going through a horrendous time right now as her husband has recently walked out leaving her with 3 young children (& is generally being quite horrible right now), so great for her to see the light at the end of the tunnel that others have found. Thank you!
akawisey I also went to Italy by myself, it was wonderful.
- got a new job
- started planning to go to university
- began saving for a year of travelling
- had amazing sex with many men and women
- could talk about my hobbies and interests without being ignored or made to feel silly
- left the house regularly
•Built my confidence back up
•Worked hard for and got my degree
•Took my DC on holiday alone
•Had lots of fun with old and new friends
•Had amazing sex also, who knew?!
•Loved and lost a special person, but don't regret a moment
•Spent years alone, which I needed as met exp at 16
•Made all of the decisions without a PA bully to manipulate me
•Met a wonderful, gorgeous, kind and funny man who is honoured to be part of mine and DC's lives.
•Raising two lovely and bright girls who drive me mad and make me proud in equal measure every day.
I remember thinking I'd never get over exp leaving. It broke my heart. However now it feels odd to call him exp, as I can't imagine ever being a 'partner' to him.
Probably because I've changed so much and he has sadly remained the same.
Huzzah for all of those enjoying post break up life!
Changed my wardrobe from mumsy to, well anything I fancy really.
Lived independently for over a year now. I love my financial independence.
Danced a lot too.
Lost loads of weight-break up stress, but am putting it back on again
Enjoyed my double bed on my own. Not dreaded bedtimes next to exH.
Had tinsel on my Christmas tree-frowned upon by exH.
Bought a bikini and lay sunbathing in the garden.
This is an excellent thread. You are all amazing.
Beachside - I was a wife carrying extra weight. I laughed and smiled plenty. I dumped my trim ex husband because he was a bore. Hope that helps.
Hee, I was just reading through and thinking I don't CARE if it is a zombie thread! In no particular order, My list includes:
Had all the fantasy sex I ever fantasised about. (Enough it got dull, admittedly, but I am still friends with that dp!)
Rescued a tiny baby kitten from a parking lot.
Gone back to school and retrained for my dream job
Done my dream job
Met and married an amazing man, whose career path has allowed us to live in or travel to interesting places.
Travelled to Italy on my own.
Raised DDs who learned what a decent man was from that dp and my dh. (They were both able to spot the charmer turning into an arse sequence sooner than I did, and got the hell out before they felt trapped.)
No naked swimming, though it almost happened with the fantasy sex dp.
Actually gained weight. The first bit was likely good, as underfeeding myself was a negative coping skill with ex. But then I kept going.
The to do list for now includes learning a foreign language, figuring out new ways to apply my dream job training now that i can't work the hours my dream job required, raising a son to be a good man, and more travel. And I suppose I should have a go at losing some weight.
Zombie thread resurrection - since the split in February we've sold our family house and I bought a little 3 bed semi last month, which I'm slowly decorating to my own taste, without having to consult re money or colour!
Picked a new car
Went to the cash point knowing roughly how much money was left and not having a nasty shock
Realised I can live on my wages
Got a better job
Had books and toys out
Picked a lovely new DP
Had the sex I wanted to have
Smiled a lot
It's only been ten days so mine's not as exciting..yet!
Moved back close to my family
Regained control of finances
Redecorated every room instead of the dreaded magnolia!
Felt more relaxed and calmer
Eaten lots of cake
Made a lot of noise with DC's (he hated noise)
Changed tv channels
Turned the fire up
Ignored phone calls and questions regarding reconciliation
Remembered I'm actually quite fun and outgoing and not at all boring, as he had me believing
Discovered people actually don't hate me, something else he had me almost convinced of.
This is a lovely thread! I hope to add more thrilling things to this list as time goes on..I'm certainly looking forward to the nicer men and sizzling sex some of you have had..it's been a while!
I've now been separated for 9 months and in that time I have:
Redecorated my bedroom (immediately!)
Got a promotion
Realised how amazing my female friends are and had lots of mid week drinking sessions putting the world to rights
Went on hol solo to dubai to see my friend who lives there
Sold the house and bought my own
Booked a hol for me and DD
Started online dating
Had sex with someone other than my husband!
Interestingly also seem to have more money to spend on myself than I ever did before!
Thanks for this thread, was having a period of feeling crap and this has made me realise that I've actually done quite a lot in 9 months!
Bastard he was. However ive passed my driving test now so if I see him I can always just run him over
Enlightenme - that's fab! Well done you.
Overit - what a terrible experience.Bastard.
I was thoroughly enjoying this thread until beachside popped up. Jeez.
If your at a party beachside and a group starts to laugh, do you go over and remind them that children are dying in Africa, or women are being killed in war zones?
I lost a ton of weight after I left my violent ex. (Which was mostly down to the fact that my nervous disposition -acquired a stutter, gave minimal eye contact, and got the shakes when meeting anyone new) had given me irritable bowel syndrome.
I danced around the house rather drunk, the 1st night I got my home back (had to flee with dd and 1 bag, 8 months previously)
I went back to University (without him) and got my PGCE.
Earned double what I had previously
Made some new friends.
Danced a hell of a lot even in the kitchen with dd
Had a fling with a toyboy
Had my one and only ons with a
Had great holidays (had none with ex, in 9 years)
Swam with dolphins, snorkelled with manatees and hugged a sealion
Drove a speedboat and a dunebuggy
Rode a camel
And still have a million other things to try and fit in between being capable and non capable!
But my greatest achievement isn't all the things I've done, it's the change in me.
I've been out for the day with dh and the dds.
It was a lovely day, we shared the preparation and driving.
We shared the grotty jobs like toilet runs and nose wiping.
He did not kick off because we got muddy.
He was not in a rush to get back so he could go out with his mates or see his girlfriend.
When OUR toddler played up in the cinema he helped and offered to go out with her then thanked me later for doing it.
We laughed and I didn't feel as if he was marking time, he was genuinely enjoying being with us.
We stopped for take away without him moaning about the cost then we unpacked bags and sorted kids together rather than being left to do it alone.
God I love that man and my oh so normal life
so come on, give us some more positives, you lovely people who've come out the other side feeling good...
Beachside lets hope one day you don't get punched in the face over and over because you forgot to get milk and have to do a list of the things you proud of. Yes that was my life because he was a prize cunt not because I was fat.
Have My first as well.
I can't list a lot of new things I have done, but I most definitely realised I was with the wrong person.
Everything about my life revolved around him and his needs. I turned into a shadow of my former self.
Nowadays, I find myself feeling free, relaxed and ready to enjoy life without feeling like an accessory to someone else.
I think it's really sad that such a hopeful, positive, supportive thread had been polluted by some posters.
in fact, Beachside, here's my first ever
Am I the only one who's a
couple of dress size bigger than when I was in a horrible marriage?
I had an amazing figure, looked fantastic and was bloody miserable.
I've now got a bit more padding, and dh says I look fantastic (he might be biased though), and have
amazing sex a much better general outlook on everything.
I certainly didn't let myself go whilst married
I wouldn't change for anyone now. I think that in my marriage I did change myself because my personality was assessed almost daily, I now know that's what ex does to everyone to make himself feel better
It's very hard to have the confidence to be who you are when someone else takes that confidence and beats you with it. That's why, I suspect, many of us enjoy having our old selves back and realise how much of ourselves we gave away
I like me, I am a bit loud sometimes, funny occasionally, kind, generous and I'm by no means perfect. But I have lots of friends so I'm enjoying life and am very fussy when it comes to boyfriends now
Join the discussion
Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.Register now
Already registered with Mumsnet? Log in to leave your comment or alternatively, sign in with Facebook or Google.
Please login first.