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How to be empowered and resilient?

(7 Posts)
Supercurious Tue 11-Feb-14 16:44:00

When you are going through times of change or difficult periods, would either of these tools be of help: i) understanding what your purpose is in life and ii) building resilience? What other form of support would make you feel empowered? Support of family and friends, what sort of support?

Farrowandbawl Tue 11-Feb-14 17:35:29

I had no outside support when I really needed it so I learnt the hard way to be resiliant on my own..It was hard but now I've got through it, I now know I can deal with that level of stress and maybe more on my own. That in itself is worth more than anything and has made me feel more empowered, confident and stronger and as a result I can, have and will attempt to do so much more and doubt myself a lot less than I used to.

My family were no support at all. Friends, well...I certainly know who they are now and who to ask for help from.

Supercurious Wed 12-Feb-14 11:24:01

Yes, I certainly found out who my friends are!
If you were to go through it again, or if advising someone else, would you encourage them to do it themselves and if so what are the pointers you would give them? Or would you recommend external resources e.g. resilience tools, networks, etc?

CogitoErgoSometimes Wed 12-Feb-14 12:15:23

I'd encourage someone to have faith in themselves first and foremost, tell them not be frightened to ask for help, and I would praise them for overcoming obstacles, resolving problems or achieving goals. In a nutshell... and if you lob in a side-order of unconditional love ... that's how I'm attempting to instil confidence and resilience in my DS.

'Purpose in life' maybe not so much as it's rather vague but I'd certainly encourage them to look beyond short-term difficulties and keep their eye on a more long-term objective.

Farrowandbawl Wed 12-Feb-14 13:17:19

I would advise the following:

Cry
scream
Do whatever it takes to make you happy even if it's just for 5 minutes.
Look after yourself as best you can
Knuckle down and ride it out as there is nothing you can do to change it, it's going to happen- you have to get through this one way or the other so make the best of it.
Talk, to everyone and anyone who will listen if you can.
Sod everything else and everyone else, just make sure you and yours are ok.

Basically, when the shit hits the fan it's time for the bare bones mentality. That mean, bugger everyone else, just do what you have to do to get through it...friends will understand, tossers will get offended and will make things worse - think of this a life clear out and NEVER FORGET, it's not forever and it will be over eventually.

Dahlen Wed 12-Feb-14 13:18:45

My exprience is very much like Farrowandbawl - surviving difficult circumstances on your own is very empowering.

Purpose in life? Well, I still don't really have one, other than to be happy. I don't feel I have a set role. It changes depending on my circumstances. I think it's wise to set yourself goals and achieve them, regularly reviewing your life and weeding out people/things that bring negativity.

Farrowandbawl Wed 12-Feb-14 13:25:28

* I think it's wise to set yourself goals and achieve them, regularly reviewing your life and weeding out people/things that bring negativity.*

I couldn't agree with this more.

Set yourself a goal to aim at - give yourself some ambition. Think of life how you treat FB - have a friends and family cull every so often.

I do this often and my life is so much less stressful now because I'm not putting effort in places or in people where it's not appreciated or wasted.

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