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nothing in common

(8 Posts)
desperateforaholiday Mon 10-Feb-14 18:50:10

Had loads of probs in the past with dh which ive posted about on here. Things have calmed down a lot recently, no arguments etc but for the last month its like we're just room mates, ive spoken to him tonight about why he doesn't respond in anyway when ive told him something, usually insignificant stuff about work, family etc, he has now said its because we have nothing in common and what interests me, doesn't interest him.
He seems quite happy to just plod along but I feel quite hurt, as I always show an interest in what he's saying, even if its about something I arnt interested in, although he says my responses arnt what he wants to hear.
I don't know how long I can carry on living like this, ive put up with a lot and just want a happy home, I just don't think I'm ever going get it.

CogitoErgoSometimes Mon 10-Feb-14 19:30:47

Maybe it's time to change strategy & start thinking that the happy home you want is going to have to be one without him in it? (If he finds you so boring, what's he still sticking around for anyway? hmm ) You describe him as a room mate but that does room mates a disservice.... they might show some interest in you.

minkBernardLundy Mon 10-Feb-14 19:45:31

Doesn't sound great OP. what is keeping you in the rs if anything?

ModreB Mon 10-Feb-14 20:04:41

DH and I have nothing at all in common. But, we enjoy each others differences, and show an interest in what each other is interested in, even if we would both rather stick pins in our eyes than do the activity.

I love to read, DH is dyslexic and hates to read, so we talk about books, newspapers, anything, that he might like and might try one day. We read together in private.

DH is a professional musician, I can sing but am too shy to do it in public, so we talk about songs that we both could sing, or that I could sing but am too shy to do it in public, or songs that I like that he doesn't know. We sing together in private.

He is my best friend, and after nearly 30 years we still have incredible sex, because I am attracted to his difference, and see it as an asset rather than a burden.

I know that people say opposites attract, but unless you have that attraction, and both of you being able to accept the difference of each other, I am sorry but I cant see the relationship lasting without unhappiness.

desperateforaholiday Mon 10-Feb-14 22:05:22

The mail reason atm is our children, he doesn't work so is classed as the sahp, I couldn't bear for me to be the nrp.
The best I could hope for would be 50 50, which although selfish of me, I don't want that.
He says that its lack of sex that is also pushing us apart, and to be honest I can't be bothered with sex anymore, I don't know why, my libido has disappeared, probably due to the fact that we have had so many problems and I don't feel that he actually cares about me anymore. Thanks for replying everyone, I just needed to talk to someone about this

RandomMess Mon 10-Feb-14 22:09:31

The main killer for me is that my h never asks how I am, he actually avoids it (in case he is told that I'm unhappy!), if I go out he doesn't wait up, doesn't ask if I had a night time.

I have decided to move out, won't be able to afford to rent anything more than a room in a shared house but don't feel like there is another option anymore. The drip drip drip of low key rejections is slowly killing me sad

desperateforaholiday Mon 10-Feb-14 22:17:58

Same here, I went my sisters recently and he hasn't mentioned it since, I feel though he likes to punish me in small ways when I do anything that doesn't involve him, if I call him up on it he denies doing anything wrong and because its just small things, like not asking me if ive enjoyed myself, always going out for the day when ive got a hangover (probably about 4 times a year) and generally just being 'off' , I'm made to feel like its me with the problem.

CogitoErgoSometimes Tue 11-Feb-14 05:46:20

Don't condemn yourself to a miserable life just because there are children. Do find out your rights and responsibilities in the event of a split rather than making assumptions that you would only see your DCs 50% of the time. How old are the DCs?

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