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Constantly being lied to...

(11 Posts)
MamaB7 Mon 10-Feb-14 12:40:06

I've been having this same argument with my partner of 14yrs for weeks now..'Who are you talking to on kik?'....
The response I get is, What are you talking about? I don't even have it installed on my phone....
Yet I know for sure he has as I've pressed the sleep key and I've seen the kik icon in the corner...
I can't access his phone as he has a lock, I don't know the pass and he's always around..
I've got it on my phone, but his new account doesn't show up on mine...
It's driving me nuts..I don't care if he's chatting to people, it's the secrecy that's doing my head in.. sad(

Emz8369 Mon 10-Feb-14 12:47:48

do you think he may be having some sort of emotional affair with someone he is chatting to on there? my ex was like this when he was on a chat site it turned out he was having an emotional affair with someone 250 miles from where we lived and one day he just left and didnt come back (he went to be with her)

sooperdooper Mon 10-Feb-14 12:51:09

Just say to him, erm yes you have I can see it!

DrCoconut Mon 10-Feb-14 17:43:47

I've just caught my DH having an emotional affair with a slapper woman he met online. He denied that there was anything going on, and outright lied about it after I said he had to stop contacting her. I think the only reason they didn't meet is that I found out. I've sent her a choice message about leaving married men alone and told him that if I ever get so much as a whiff of him doing it again its over between us. He has deleted the offending app but I now worry about whether I have simply driven it further underground. He says he has stopped and is open about his phone but how do I really know he has no alternative means of contacting her? The trust has gone and its really hard to deal with. I have to try for the DC sake. What I'm trying to say is don't ignore your instinct. You need to sort this out sooner rather than later.

MamaB7 Mon 10-Feb-14 18:10:30

I know for sure he's chatting to someone as I found his details on a social site for that app.
So, and I know many of you might say it's wrong, but I set up a fake account and started to chat to him...
But it's not plain sailing..He kept asking me to take a real time pic of myself to show I'm not an old man...(his words..)
I'm still working on him, he said my picture was CUTE?! He never uses that word, ever, around me...
I know he's going through a lot of stress with his elderly parents atm, and I'm really not that bothered he is chatting to people, my fears are that it's a list as long as my arm and he's talking out of context..
He's asked me before and we both agreed, so long as the convo's were clean, it's not a problem..
I'm just over-reacting I guess, I know for sure I can't say anything, he'll flip right out with the ways he's acting just lately.
I'll just let him do it if it keeps him happy, I'm abit hypocritical really as I'm talking to someone too, but i've told him I am...Just wish he'd respect my honesty and tell me truth...

AnyFucker Mon 10-Feb-14 18:22:47

Not much of a "relationship" is it ? confused

Offred Mon 10-Feb-14 19:26:57

Crazy... So he's got himself a partner who is doing her utmost to be cool with anything he does and he's STILL unable to be honest?

Personally I think you need to stop trying to be so cool with everything and I think you need to dump this disrespectful loser...

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Mon 10-Feb-14 19:40:55

I don't see why if it's troubling you the natural response wouldn't be a talk face to face with DP. Be open, with a theme of 'I want to trust you but when you tell me something I know isn't accurate it makes me feel like I have to be on my guard and insecure' or something like that.

If he 'flips out' there's your answer. He might think you'll keep quiet so as not to rock the boat. Are you going to bite your lip and hope he's not going to get up to something?

Any external stress like family or work is always going to pop up during a long term relationship. You can't brush doubts and red flags under the carpet every time you think poor him, he's under pressure.

akawisey Mon 10-Feb-14 20:02:03

<sigh> Liars are SUCH fucking hard work.

ImperialBlether Mon 10-Feb-14 20:05:22

So he's talking to someone and you're talking to someone? What's the point of the relationship, then?

DCRbye Tue 11-Feb-14 21:06:33

This is complete madness. Make him open his phone in front of you and show you the apps or kick his arse out.

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