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Does anybody know the practicalities of this?

(30 Posts)
Loveyouthree Sun 09-Feb-14 16:54:23

"D"P and I live together in a rented house, both on tenancy agreement. When we moved in it was for tenants in employment only... I'm a SAHM, so had to have a guarantor (my dad, who doesn't speak to me anymore. Doubt he'd do it again!).

So what are my options? I need to leave DP. Don't know how cos I'm the weakest person that ever existed but at least im trying to make a plan. This house is PERFECT for the kids, but I understand I may have to move. Would I get thrown out if dp left? As he is the employed one?

But if I had to move, how the hell would I be accepted for a house on benefits with guarantor?

I'm going to have to stay with him because of the above, even though he's done some pretty unforgivable things. I'm angry that he gets away with it all the time.

NettleTea Sun 09-Feb-14 16:58:19

some councils do a guarantee scheme where they guarantee the deposit for people in a situation like yours, or for people with no savings. It doesnt seem likely that, given the difficulties with LL that he may be happy if you stayed, but always worth asking the estate agent. Guess alot depends upon how long you have been there and how reliable they find you.

Loveyouthree Sun 09-Feb-14 16:59:02

Without a guarantor I meant!

Joysmum Sun 09-Feb-14 16:59:59

I'm afraid to say that I don't know that many private LL's would take the risk. Most want as many adults in the tenancy agreement as possible, and/or appropriate guarantors.

I hope somebody in the know about how to best proceed will be along soon to help, just wished I could have.

Good luck.

Loveyouthree Sun 09-Feb-14 17:00:54

I don't know how difficult the landlady is tbh. We've been here 8 months, and whereas I was amazing at paying rent when I lived alone - standing order, never late etc... DP has been shit. He's forgotten to pay it on time a few times etc.

Roshbegosh Sun 09-Feb-14 17:01:11

I doubt you would get thrown out as long as you pay the rent. The landlord could give notice any time though. Could you get a job? You need to think about being independent. Then you could stay, not be totally reliant on him for rent and if you move you would be more likely to be accepted as a tenant.

Loveyouthree Sun 09-Feb-14 17:02:13

Thanks. I can't believe I have to stay with him. I hate him.

Loveyouthree Sun 09-Feb-14 17:04:17

No point getting a job really as children are 5, 2 and 1 so I wouldn't be able to afford the childcare. That is a good plan, but there's no way I'll be able to stay here any longer than a week without giving in and making up with him. I'm too pathetic not to. Can't stand atmosphere. This weekend is killing me.

FanFuckingTastic Sun 09-Feb-14 17:04:39

I think I'd contact them to find out whether they would accept you if you left your partner and were on benefits for a while, since you have a guarantor. They might be okay with it, or they might not.

chateauferret Sun 09-Feb-14 17:14:56

Is he a twat?

If he's violent or abusive have him carted off BT the plod.

Roshbegosh Sun 09-Feb-14 17:16:40

But she doesn't have a guarantor if they need a new contract. I really think the landlord won't want to take the risk as some people on benefits do not pay their rent and are very difficult to evict. I took a chance on a woman on benefits myself and she trashed the place, had a stinking mad dog and owed thousands in the end as well as the thousands needed to put things right. I would never do it again and most landlords with decent flats won't either. Sorry, I honestly don't mean to be unhelpful and I hope someone can help you on here but there is no doubt about it, you are in a rotten situation.

FallenFlower Sun 09-Feb-14 17:17:25

If he hasn't paid the rent on time a few times now, you'll likely get notice to leave at the end of the contract anyway.

Contact the council and ask for their list of landlords that accept HB.

Loveyouthree Sun 09-Feb-14 17:39:54

The contract ended in June and we weren't asked to leave. It's been late as in a few days late

Yes he's been violent. I'm not ringing the police, it won't achieve anything.

All the landlords that accept HB here want a guarantor.

Loveyouthree Sun 09-Feb-14 17:40:10

Sorry not june, December

CogitoErgoSometimes Sun 09-Feb-14 17:44:22

If he's violent then you need to advise the right people. Womens Aid, Shelter, the police etc. Reason being that you need specialist help to get yourself safe and protect your interests and those of your DCs. Yours is not just some run of the mill end of the relationship situation. If you have it on record that he is violent then you would qualify for legal aid, for example, in the event of a dispute about the property. It would also influence any contact he went on to have with the DCs. All kinds of things flow from letting it be known that you are a victim of DV.

Loveyouthree Sun 09-Feb-14 17:47:28

I know, but there's no evidence. He strangled me yesterday and pushed my head down into the bed, but there's not a mark on me. And I grabbed his back first so I just wouldn't go to the police. Plus he has a caution for violence (hospitalised a man) so that might make things worse for him?

CogitoErgoSometimes Sun 09-Feb-14 17:54:42

You don't need evidence, you simply need to report it. That he has a record is his problem, not yours. That you grabbed first does not mean you weren't acting out of self-defence.

Why are you protecting him? hmm

Loveyouthree Sun 09-Feb-14 18:02:41

Tbh, I think I'm protecting him cos I know deep down that I'll end up "forgiving" him, getting back with him and then we'd have a whole host of problems inc him not being able to get employment because of his record etc.

sus14 Sun 09-Feb-14 18:18:39

You need to talk to SHelter, they have a free helpline, they can advise you about what rights you have and what the council is obliged to do. Have a look at their website for the helpline number . You need to report any sort of abuse to the police to help your case.

Loveyouthree Sun 09-Feb-14 18:36:21

Thank you, I didn't know shelter would help with stuff like that for free. Googling them now.

CogitoErgoSometimes Sun 09-Feb-14 18:43:28

You're making big efforts to move out, get your own place and get away from this violent man.... or am I reading this thread completely wrong? If you report him and burn a few bridges it'll make it less likely you'll let him back into your life rather than more. You described yourself as 'weak' originally. Wouldn't it help you be stronger if you had the law on your side?

Loveyouthree Sun 09-Feb-14 19:06:18

I don't know. He's friends with everyone in this town. Everyone's his family. I have no one. Everyone would hate me.

CogitoErgoSometimes Sun 09-Feb-14 19:11:01

There are plenty of other towns you can live in and, when you leave him, you won't have anything to do with his family again. If hating you means they'd intimidate you then, by having the law on your side, you can get them properly dealt with.

Loveyouthree Sun 09-Feb-14 19:38:20

They wouldn't intimidate me as such, but I'm a very anxious person and I'd probably end up being a complete hermit for fear of bumping into one of them...

I can't go anywhere, we have children together, ones at school in the village. sad

LilyBlossom14 Sun 09-Feb-14 19:41:34

you definitely need to contact Women's Aid - they will believe you. Strangling is a huge red flag, it is just about the worst violence he could commit and they will take you seriously.

They will help you and you can find somewhere else to live who take HB - but you have to report this and get to safety.

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