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Very unwelcome Valentine.

(5 Posts)
HairExtensions Sun 09-Feb-14 12:06:12

Yesterday I received a Valentine card from my ex, we split just over 3 years ago. The split was very acrimonious (on his side) and the last few years have been very difficult. We have children so I haven't been able to cut contact with him completely however, I rarely speak to him on the phone as he always ends up being abusive/aggressive or trying to manipulate me in some other way.

He hasn't sent me a Valentine card on the other years since we split. He is currently in hospital under a Section 3 (Mental Health Act?) although he is now allowed escorted/accompanied visits. I'm not worried at the moment about him turning up at my house as we live 200 miles away.

I feel really fed up sad I'm never going to be free of him am I? I know its just a stupid card and just to throw it in the bin but its the message behind it. Everything he does is calculated.

Not sure what else to say really, not sure why I've put what I have but thanks for listening. I've NC back to a previous name for this as I don't want my usual posting name to be linked iyswim?

mrssmith79 Sun 09-Feb-14 12:21:23

Hi Hair. If ex is under a Section 3 in a mh hospital I'd be tempted to give them a ring and report as this may be something of a red flag for them wrt his current presentation / treatment. If they're aware of it they can deal with the reasoning behind it and stop any subsequent contact if you want - don't mean for that to sound scaremonger-y, I'm a mh nurse myself and if one of my patients was sending unwanted valentines to exes out of the blue, I'd feel much better for knowing about it.

HairExtensions Sun 09-Feb-14 12:34:00

Mrsmith thank you. I've been in touch with the hospital - prior to the card arriving - as the Consultant Psychiatrist wanted to speak to me as they had very little background info on ex. Just the things he had told them and most of that was fantasy. The things that were true were out of context and wrong timelines. His mum died last year and he has no contact with other family. I've also spoken to MH Support Worker. I made my thoughts and feelings perfectly clear regarding ex having contact with me. I changed my phone number before Christmas so he could no longer contact me directly. I will be contacting them in the morning though to let them know about this. My issue with this is that ex has (IMO) done this to get a reaction from me and I'm bloody loathe to give him one!

mrssmith79 Sun 09-Feb-14 12:38:21

You're doing all the right things op. Make sure you stress your wishes to have no contact from him as they can vet and intercept his outgoing mail etc. Hope things settle for you soon.

HairExtensions Sun 09-Feb-14 13:15:25

Thank you. I've just emailed the Consultant as I can stay detached writing it, whereas I'm bound to let my emotions get in the way if I speak to him on the phone. Told him how I felt about it (not bloody happy!) that I didn't particularly want to give a reaction but that I'd been advised to let him (consultant) know - I didn't name you though grin

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