My husband and I are confusing...I can not talk to him. Every time I tell him about my feelings he flies off the deep end. This morning he told me, "I don't care about your feelings!" Mind you I have been working on not "attacking" him verbally but it really doesn't seem to matter. It almost feels like I am the only one that cares about the marriage. He will frequently tell me that he wants a divorce or that he hates me but only when we argue. After he calms down and I question him about it he will tell me that he did not mean it. I told him I think he hates me and he told me, "I never said that!" REALLY?! Or he will say that he does not hate me and wishes I did not think that way. I have caught him looking at porn, which he will then totally lie and say that he does not such thing. He is constantly wanting things and just seems to enjoy spending money. When I tell him it just is not in the finances then I am the bad guy. I do not spend money much at all. I instead put it toward my husband and son. We have had our ups and downs but he just seems like such and jerk lately that it is just so frustrating. He used to be romantic but he doesn't even try! He used to complain that I was on the computer too much so I cut back and now he is on his tablet all the time. He used to say that I with held sex from him but now I try to be more "active" and he is too tired. He does work long hours and I think he may have sleep apnea but I can not stand being neglected. He told me not to take it personal but it is just so hard...I just want so much for him to want me and to try and show that he loves me and needs me. Now he is starting a bad with his brother again and I am scared that will become his priority over me and our son. I have no pastime and spend all my time at home. I love my son dearly but this mom gets no breaks except for work. I use to play softball but my husband didn't like that because of men down at the ball fields. Well women are at the bar so not sure I like that! I noticed he likes other girls pictures on FB and things that just seem kinda weird for him to like. He has cheated on me 7 years ago and I still struggle with trust because of the lies. Basically I guess I need to vent and any advice would be great. I am just at a loss and really have no one to talk to. I can not talk to him because he immediately jumps on the defense. He had off today and I had to work. So instead of going to practice his drums while I was at work he is going to go when I get home???? WTH?! There probably is a reason for that but he doesn't tell me and if I ask he gets defensive...SIGH reading this over makes me want to cry...
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Are you in the US ? Is there an equivalent to Women's Aid there ? No one should be forced to stay in a situation that is detrimental to them in this day and age 
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